christmas '05
ok so this years christmas was a lot more toned down than last year (i recall being totaly wasted last year) but more busy. tracing the events back to the 23rd, it was last minute christmas shopping @ orchard and then heading down to a friend's birthday party at clarke quay's tcc and then to watching narnia and on to woing till the wee hours of 24th dec. woke up at 5pm 24 dec so i guess my christmas eve was more or less wasted. anyways wowed again until like 6+ whereby i had to drop my parents off to a christmas party and went on to marina square to catch king kong. they should rename it king kok cos the scenes were pretty much lame and cmon, how can a chick every fall in love with an ape? anyways i got a call from my dad after than and damn i had to send thme home before rejoining the groups for supper -- or more likely, my dinner and then it was off to wowing till the wee hrs of christmas day. woke up 1pm on christmas day and went to a family party and then off to being show and tell object for my parents friend's party and now i may be heading t another gathering. maybe. damn i still remember needing to go to jb tml.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
the return
it's been a while since i last blogged. 29-fricking september. that's like almost 2.5 months. anywayalot of shit has happened since then.
for starters,
1. i went and got a job with at shenton way working as a damn admin assistant. and man it was hell as boring. it really made me wonder if life was just about waking up and going to work everyday only to return home after work and sleep and continue the cycle all over again. cos firstly, you wouldn't have enough personal quiet time for yourself, let alone time with friends ; unless you're talking about weekends. moreover, the job which i got was so damn boring that i was literally STRUGGLING to stay awake every morning. downing double shots of nescafe classic everyday until i was so sure the caffeine intake would affect me in the later years. i just have to take my hat off to te other perm. staff who have been doing the same boring shit for 10 years or less. Friends, i salute you. lucky for me, they decided to end my contract early cos of low sales volume. hooh.
concurrently with the boring job,
2. my main desktop crashed and i lost all my mp3s and photos. fuck SATA technology.
3. i got a new laptop for my further study in OZ. love it
4. and my mage in World of Warcraft ave since hit 51. I would sure bloody wish to hit 60 by the end of the year. Possible? possible.
5. i've gone and returned from bangkok with my NS department. This is the 2nd time whereby i get "sponsored" to go on a holiday by the govt. how great is that. Although it wasn't as good as last years', it was still fun and i managed to bag my bag of good deals.
Christmas is coming. though as much as i would like this year to end, it still pains me to think that christmas would just come and go. damn. it's my favourite holiday. the one which makes you feel that everything is so warm and cheery until it's over and the cold world slaps you back into reality. the feelings good ; and short i know but this is only one of the exceptions where i would do sacrifice anything to make the cause worthwhile.
k enough of this emo shit.
gonna get some rest b4 i grind again.
farewell.
it's been a while since i last blogged. 29-fricking september. that's like almost 2.5 months. anywayalot of shit has happened since then.
for starters,
1. i went and got a job with at shenton way working as a damn admin assistant. and man it was hell as boring. it really made me wonder if life was just about waking up and going to work everyday only to return home after work and sleep and continue the cycle all over again. cos firstly, you wouldn't have enough personal quiet time for yourself, let alone time with friends ; unless you're talking about weekends. moreover, the job which i got was so damn boring that i was literally STRUGGLING to stay awake every morning. downing double shots of nescafe classic everyday until i was so sure the caffeine intake would affect me in the later years. i just have to take my hat off to te other perm. staff who have been doing the same boring shit for 10 years or less. Friends, i salute you. lucky for me, they decided to end my contract early cos of low sales volume. hooh.
concurrently with the boring job,
2. my main desktop crashed and i lost all my mp3s and photos. fuck SATA technology.
3. i got a new laptop for my further study in OZ. love it
4. and my mage in World of Warcraft ave since hit 51. I would sure bloody wish to hit 60 by the end of the year. Possible? possible.
5. i've gone and returned from bangkok with my NS department. This is the 2nd time whereby i get "sponsored" to go on a holiday by the govt. how great is that. Although it wasn't as good as last years', it was still fun and i managed to bag my bag of good deals.
Christmas is coming. though as much as i would like this year to end, it still pains me to think that christmas would just come and go. damn. it's my favourite holiday. the one which makes you feel that everything is so warm and cheery until it's over and the cold world slaps you back into reality. the feelings good ; and short i know but this is only one of the exceptions where i would do sacrifice anything to make the cause worthwhile.
k enough of this emo shit.
gonna get some rest b4 i grind again.
farewell.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
ORD LOH!
and so the day arrived. and so ends another chapter of my life. had actually wanted to blog this at 1201 yesterday but was engaged in the merciless spamming of the sacred words "ORD LOH!" to everyone on my msn contact list.
somehow, i feel a sense of loss. not saying that i love serving ns and doing shit but it's like, after 26 mths of hoping for September 28 2005 and when it's finally here, i don't feel enlightened or special at all. On the contrary, i feel weird maybe due to the sudden relinquishing of duties and not needing to do anything suddenly.
it's a weird feeling. but i like it.
nevertheless i still enjoyed my NS though i kept on bitching about how life sucks and shit like that. i've definetly learnt more than just clerical work and being a cow (just listen and do; don't think).
truly, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
what becomes of me then? well, the model answer would be "get a job for 3 mths" and later f.o to australia. but my real answer would be to slack around first and relax.
hopefully i can do that.
will miss the guys in the office. but that's probably the only bad about ORD-ing
because eventually, everything is emotional
and so the day arrived. and so ends another chapter of my life. had actually wanted to blog this at 1201 yesterday but was engaged in the merciless spamming of the sacred words "ORD LOH!" to everyone on my msn contact list.
somehow, i feel a sense of loss. not saying that i love serving ns and doing shit but it's like, after 26 mths of hoping for September 28 2005 and when it's finally here, i don't feel enlightened or special at all. On the contrary, i feel weird maybe due to the sudden relinquishing of duties and not needing to do anything suddenly.
it's a weird feeling. but i like it.
nevertheless i still enjoyed my NS though i kept on bitching about how life sucks and shit like that. i've definetly learnt more than just clerical work and being a cow (just listen and do; don't think).
truly, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
what becomes of me then? well, the model answer would be "get a job for 3 mths" and later f.o to australia. but my real answer would be to slack around first and relax.
hopefully i can do that.
will miss the guys in the office. but that's probably the only bad about ORD-ing
because eventually, everything is emotional
Friday, September 16, 2005
last working day
woke up feeling happy today cos it was going to be my last working day at the office. in a way the feelings kinda different. the sky seemed bluer and the sound of the environment seemed relaxed. yes weird way to describe it but that's the way it is.
when i stepped into the office alot of the guys were kinda surprised that i came back (well thats because i did not have enough leave and so i had to go back for 1 last day) but what really made me laugh was when one of my supervisors (not direct supervisors) said "hey long time no see where did you go?" and when i replied that i was clearing leave and that today was my last day at work she got the shock of her life.
ah. the art of stealth
the look on her face was priceless.
anyway as today was HLS it wasn't really a work day. more like a play badminton and get trashed day. we didn't get trashed though. we got second.
well, after work i went to eat dinner with the usual gang and we later wasted our lives at the cheesy cafe along orchard road.
not bad for a last day...guess the feeling would be more emo on the 28th.
9 days to ord.
woke up feeling happy today cos it was going to be my last working day at the office. in a way the feelings kinda different. the sky seemed bluer and the sound of the environment seemed relaxed. yes weird way to describe it but that's the way it is.
when i stepped into the office alot of the guys were kinda surprised that i came back (well thats because i did not have enough leave and so i had to go back for 1 last day) but what really made me laugh was when one of my supervisors (not direct supervisors) said "hey long time no see where did you go?" and when i replied that i was clearing leave and that today was my last day at work she got the shock of her life.
ah. the art of stealth
the look on her face was priceless.
anyway as today was HLS it wasn't really a work day. more like a play badminton and get trashed day. we didn't get trashed though. we got second.
well, after work i went to eat dinner with the usual gang and we later wasted our lives at the cheesy cafe along orchard road.
not bad for a last day...guess the feeling would be more emo on the 28th.
9 days to ord.
Monday, September 05, 2005
Xenosaga II: Jeseits von Gut und Bose
just completed xenosaga 2 spending a total gametime of 34:15:18. real world time : 6 days. The ending's quite ok albeit abit short. Well at least it didn't make me want to smash the PS2 unlike suikoden 4. i think chaos is an evil dude all along ( so glad i didn't train him up as a character) and the ending did mention something abot Kos-Mos "waking up" when some shit happens in Xenosaga episode iii. happilly awaiting it. gonna hit the sack.
just completed xenosaga 2 spending a total gametime of 34:15:18. real world time : 6 days. The ending's quite ok albeit abit short. Well at least it didn't make me want to smash the PS2 unlike suikoden 4. i think chaos is an evil dude all along ( so glad i didn't train him up as a character) and the ending did mention something abot Kos-Mos "waking up" when some shit happens in Xenosaga episode iii. happilly awaiting it. gonna hit the sack.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Terrace 10 King Palm
after an exciting and action packed time at the chalet. i awoke this morning to cold winds lapping at my back. there was a hurricane at my window and so i got up to close the windows and having felt not sleeping enough i decided togo grab my cell phone to set the alarm and place it under my pillow. problem is: wtf is my handphone? i ended up searching the whole damn house for my stupid handphone and even came online to ask a couple of friends if they had seen it lying around at the chalet (thinking that i may have left it there) -- to no avail.
anyway back to the chalet. it's definetly my last with the guys as an NSF cos i'll be ording soon and obviously, i'll miss them. Note: miss the NSFs and a few regulars. not the office folks. though it rained like half the time, it was still enjoyable with the talk cock sessions, the despatch adventures, night swims and of course the bbq as the grand finale.
in hindsight,its just another happy memory of a time gone by.
argh fug. since my phone's ringing i reckon it must be around the house somewhere. i think i shall go and sleep it off first.
after an exciting and action packed time at the chalet. i awoke this morning to cold winds lapping at my back. there was a hurricane at my window and so i got up to close the windows and having felt not sleeping enough i decided togo grab my cell phone to set the alarm and place it under my pillow. problem is: wtf is my handphone? i ended up searching the whole damn house for my stupid handphone and even came online to ask a couple of friends if they had seen it lying around at the chalet (thinking that i may have left it there) -- to no avail.
anyway back to the chalet. it's definetly my last with the guys as an NSF cos i'll be ording soon and obviously, i'll miss them. Note: miss the NSFs and a few regulars. not the office folks. though it rained like half the time, it was still enjoyable with the talk cock sessions, the despatch adventures, night swims and of course the bbq as the grand finale.
in hindsight,its just another happy memory of a time gone by.
argh fug. since my phone's ringing i reckon it must be around the house somewhere. i think i shall go and sleep it off first.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
i've been punk'd
saturday and sunday saw me at sentosa helping out at the New Balance Real Run event. all for the glory of earning hours to pave the way for a smoother enjoyable ord. Sad to say, there were alot of slackers who just "helped out" at the event just for the hours, leaving the other hardworking ones the luxury of heavy weight lifting and sai kang. the human race is really cursed. suffice to say, 300,000 years of evolution didn't do us any good with the blood of selfishness and sloth still flowing in our veins. some were seen "eye-powering", "others missing in action" and not forgetting; eating more than they should.
but who cares. ORD Loh.
unplesantaries aside, the event was an enjoyable one nevertheless. It's only during such events where i can really joke around with the guys and just be my crazy self. saw lots of chicks too. and also a few brushes with death.
in a way, i'll be kinda sad when i ord. i'll miss the friends made there. the office furniture, the carpet, the fishtank, the stationery. the likeble NSFs, haha guess you should know by now who i Won't miss.
oooh btw i've just been punk'd.
my overstudy was right all along.
hard work doesn't pay.
not at least in that department.
saturday and sunday saw me at sentosa helping out at the New Balance Real Run event. all for the glory of earning hours to pave the way for a smoother enjoyable ord. Sad to say, there were alot of slackers who just "helped out" at the event just for the hours, leaving the other hardworking ones the luxury of heavy weight lifting and sai kang. the human race is really cursed. suffice to say, 300,000 years of evolution didn't do us any good with the blood of selfishness and sloth still flowing in our veins. some were seen "eye-powering", "others missing in action" and not forgetting; eating more than they should.
but who cares. ORD Loh.
unplesantaries aside, the event was an enjoyable one nevertheless. It's only during such events where i can really joke around with the guys and just be my crazy self. saw lots of chicks too. and also a few brushes with death.
in a way, i'll be kinda sad when i ord. i'll miss the friends made there. the office furniture, the carpet, the fishtank, the stationery. the likeble NSFs, haha guess you should know by now who i Won't miss.
oooh btw i've just been punk'd.
my overstudy was right all along.
hard work doesn't pay.
not at least in that department.
Friday, August 26, 2005
timeless
it's been awhile again since i last updated
well i don't really "update" often unless i have real thoughts worth penning down
think "the pensive" in harry potter
(so ok i digressed for awhile)
life's good ( i can't believe i'm saying this) but yeah
what with spending my long earned ord holiday season doing whatever i want.
for the record i went on a reading spree and managed to complete reading 11 books in the span of 23 days. (i didn't read everyday though) and yes, i sold out by reading harry potter.
to my surprise it was quite entertaining reading it... no wonder the world's reading it.
right now i'm taking a break. i'm abstaining from books until maybe next month though i've actually started on xenosaga ii yesterday.
the good thing about not working is that you can enjoy "timelessness". try sleeping at 6am and waking up at 12pm and you'll find that your day is longer!
ord loh.
it's been awhile again since i last updated
well i don't really "update" often unless i have real thoughts worth penning down
think "the pensive" in harry potter
(so ok i digressed for awhile)
life's good ( i can't believe i'm saying this) but yeah
what with spending my long earned ord holiday season doing whatever i want.
for the record i went on a reading spree and managed to complete reading 11 books in the span of 23 days. (i didn't read everyday though) and yes, i sold out by reading harry potter.
to my surprise it was quite entertaining reading it... no wonder the world's reading it.
right now i'm taking a break. i'm abstaining from books until maybe next month though i've actually started on xenosaga ii yesterday.
the good thing about not working is that you can enjoy "timelessness". try sleeping at 6am and waking up at 12pm and you'll find that your day is longer!
ord loh.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
plain morning
awoke with red eyes to a grey morning
the perfect morning for a sleep in but i remembered i had to go to jb with a colleague of mine.
i forgot to tell my mum i'll be going out and so she bought me lunch..or brunch which i obviously had to eat before i leave now
and so i started to watch full metal panic second raid and eat brunch. (usual way i have my meals).
i was happilly eating when suddenly a cane frog hoped across my keyboard and startled me.wtf man where did it come from? my only guess was that my dad went to secretly feed my snakehead which i was starving for 3 days for the efficacious method of making it savage.
i watched it hop hop hop and stop, swuang my hand over it and it got scared and started to hop off the table and wow, it didn't die. as i was eating i didn't want to get my hands dirty by catching it....neither did i want to let it escape and let my whole house go apeshit over a damn frog...after comtemplating on what to do i spotted my stack of double a paper, and decided i would just stall for time....and so i took aim, estimated the amount of force and distance required to hit the frog and dumped the whole rim of paper over the frog. maybe i'll clean it up after i get home...not before giving my dad a piece of my mind.
awoke with red eyes to a grey morning
the perfect morning for a sleep in but i remembered i had to go to jb with a colleague of mine.
i forgot to tell my mum i'll be going out and so she bought me lunch..or brunch which i obviously had to eat before i leave now
and so i started to watch full metal panic second raid and eat brunch. (usual way i have my meals).
i was happilly eating when suddenly a cane frog hoped across my keyboard and startled me.wtf man where did it come from? my only guess was that my dad went to secretly feed my snakehead which i was starving for 3 days for the efficacious method of making it savage.
i watched it hop hop hop and stop, swuang my hand over it and it got scared and started to hop off the table and wow, it didn't die. as i was eating i didn't want to get my hands dirty by catching it....neither did i want to let it escape and let my whole house go apeshit over a damn frog...after comtemplating on what to do i spotted my stack of double a paper, and decided i would just stall for time....and so i took aim, estimated the amount of force and distance required to hit the frog and dumped the whole rim of paper over the frog. maybe i'll clean it up after i get home...not before giving my dad a piece of my mind.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
heat
it's better to burn out than to fade away...
I'm awake, you're still sleeping
The sun will rise like yesterday
Everything that we are now
Is everything we can't let go
Or its gone forever, far away
I hope tomorrow is like today
Don't you go away tomorrow
I don't think I could handle that
You're probably dreaming that you're flying on
Then you start to fall
But then you rise
and shine forever
Don't go away
I hope tomorrow is like today
it's better to burn out than to fade away...
I'm awake, you're still sleeping
The sun will rise like yesterday
Everything that we are now
Is everything we can't let go
Or its gone forever, far away
I hope tomorrow is like today
Don't you go away tomorrow
I don't think I could handle that
You're probably dreaming that you're flying on
Then you start to fall
But then you rise
and shine forever
Don't go away
I hope tomorrow is like today
Saturday, August 13, 2005
a new lease of life
for once after a million posts,
i can finally say that life doesn't suck.
but only now.
for the moment
it's been, shit. i've forgotten how many days since i've started on my block leave... and am enjoying it. been able to roam around the world and practically do anything which i want without having to worry about the damn office. the feeling's great. it's almost as if i've unlocked the cheat code to "GOD MODE". i've even managed to watch all the damn tv dramas which have been rotting in my hardisk -- and cleared alot of diskspace after deleting them too. not forgetting being able to finish reading the stack of books which have been piling up in the corner of my desk.
though many a time i would wake up at 7.30am and worry "oh fuck! do i have to work today?" and then i will be reminded that i'm not due until the 19th. cool.as to why i keep on waking up at 7.30am, i think its the damage done to my brain during my stay in office.
work hazards. heh.
anyway, caught "the maid" today. not a bad story. the maid is quite pretty lor. but the interesting part of the story is that there's a twist... which kinda made me damn sian after they reveal it to you. damn xialan indeed.
ending now cos dun feel like writing anymore.
for once after a million posts,
i can finally say that life doesn't suck.
but only now.
for the moment
it's been, shit. i've forgotten how many days since i've started on my block leave... and am enjoying it. been able to roam around the world and practically do anything which i want without having to worry about the damn office. the feeling's great. it's almost as if i've unlocked the cheat code to "GOD MODE". i've even managed to watch all the damn tv dramas which have been rotting in my hardisk -- and cleared alot of diskspace after deleting them too. not forgetting being able to finish reading the stack of books which have been piling up in the corner of my desk.
though many a time i would wake up at 7.30am and worry "oh fuck! do i have to work today?" and then i will be reminded that i'm not due until the 19th. cool.as to why i keep on waking up at 7.30am, i think its the damage done to my brain during my stay in office.
work hazards. heh.
anyway, caught "the maid" today. not a bad story. the maid is quite pretty lor. but the interesting part of the story is that there's a twist... which kinda made me damn sian after they reveal it to you. damn xialan indeed.
ending now cos dun feel like writing anymore.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
so long and thank you for the fish
just returned from the airport.
i was late in sending a friend off this time but at least i still made it. now i'm only afraid of getting shot by hidden speed guns along the ecp. felt abit embarrassed cos she and her whole fan club was waiting for me to arrive before she went through the gates.
we barely spoke for 5 minutes, but hey. at least we said goodbye.
tdy's the 1st day of my 2 mth long block leave
and obviously, it was great. woke up breathing the 1pm west coast air and ate some sub standard hup seng economic rice bought by my mum...which reminds me, i should learn how to cook from her soon. the rest of the day was spent at sim lim doing price "research" for a laptop and a camera before heading back home and to the airport. nothing exciting happened... but there'll be more to come.
the moment i stepped into the terminal,
i knew i had to go on another trip.
just returned from the airport.
i was late in sending a friend off this time but at least i still made it. now i'm only afraid of getting shot by hidden speed guns along the ecp. felt abit embarrassed cos she and her whole fan club was waiting for me to arrive before she went through the gates.
we barely spoke for 5 minutes, but hey. at least we said goodbye.
tdy's the 1st day of my 2 mth long block leave
and obviously, it was great. woke up breathing the 1pm west coast air and ate some sub standard hup seng economic rice bought by my mum...which reminds me, i should learn how to cook from her soon. the rest of the day was spent at sim lim doing price "research" for a laptop and a camera before heading back home and to the airport. nothing exciting happened... but there'll be more to come.
the moment i stepped into the terminal,
i knew i had to go on another trip.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
breakdown
It's magic", she says to me.
My hand to her waist as she approaches sweetly.
It's enough when I see that look in her eyes,
It's enough for me to paralyze.
Oh, I'm waiting for the breakdown.
Well nothing feels good being under the gun.
Oh, I'm waiting for the breakdown.
"It's tragic", she says to me.
A song in the air, we're together floating.
What I miss everyday since our goodbye,
was enough for me to realize.
Oh, I'm waiting for the breakdown.
Well nothing feels good being under the gun.
Oh, I'm waiting for the breakdown.
Is it ever going to come?
So take care what you wish for, for it may come true.
But that September sky, how it whispered "I love you".
But I couldn't take it any longer, no I couldn't stand.
But the nights brought sparks and the sparks brought flames,
And you had to be sure this wasn't one of those games.
But I'm going to show you if you could just give me tonight.
Tonight...
"Its fragile", she says to me.
The hair in her eyes, she removes it smiling.
There's a wound that I know this song could mend,
A step in time for us will never end.
Oh, I'm waiting for the breakdown.
Well nothing feels good being under the gun.
Oh, I'm waiting for the breakdown.
Is it ever gonna come?
I'm waiting, for the breakdown.
I'm waiting, for the comedown.
2 more months.
It's magic", she says to me.
My hand to her waist as she approaches sweetly.
It's enough when I see that look in her eyes,
It's enough for me to paralyze.
Oh, I'm waiting for the breakdown.
Well nothing feels good being under the gun.
Oh, I'm waiting for the breakdown.
"It's tragic", she says to me.
A song in the air, we're together floating.
What I miss everyday since our goodbye,
was enough for me to realize.
Oh, I'm waiting for the breakdown.
Well nothing feels good being under the gun.
Oh, I'm waiting for the breakdown.
Is it ever going to come?
So take care what you wish for, for it may come true.
But that September sky, how it whispered "I love you".
But I couldn't take it any longer, no I couldn't stand.
But the nights brought sparks and the sparks brought flames,
And you had to be sure this wasn't one of those games.
But I'm going to show you if you could just give me tonight.
Tonight...
"Its fragile", she says to me.
The hair in her eyes, she removes it smiling.
There's a wound that I know this song could mend,
A step in time for us will never end.
Oh, I'm waiting for the breakdown.
Well nothing feels good being under the gun.
Oh, I'm waiting for the breakdown.
Is it ever gonna come?
I'm waiting, for the breakdown.
I'm waiting, for the comedown.
2 more months.
Monday, July 25, 2005
the nights are getting warmer
The nights are getting warmer.
The amber light's on, it's going to be over.
To work hard now doesn't make much sense.
So this is my goodbye.
Surprised, because I thought I could stay alittle longer tonight,
but i guess some things weren't meant to be
Goodbye, I'm not going to waste this time,
the light i left behind will keep on burning.
Goodnight, I'm getting off of this helluva ride,
I'm letting go to see if i still feel alive
I'm writing you this letter,
if you'll be honest and see what you've done to me
maybe this letter will have a meaning
nevertheless we still held hands
until the final goodbye shall we part our ways
As the lights just go up all around us,
I can't believe it's becoming to be over.
I'm sitting under falling stars.
Do you miss me from where you are?
maybe our love will come back one day
until then, we have to wait out 64 sunrises
64 surises are all i have
11 sunsets are all i have
Everything you're saying sounds right tonight.
it'll take a miracle
so that's what i'm praying for.
The nights are getting warmer.
The amber light's on, it's going to be over.
To work hard now doesn't make much sense.
So this is my goodbye.
Surprised, because I thought I could stay alittle longer tonight,
but i guess some things weren't meant to be
Goodbye, I'm not going to waste this time,
the light i left behind will keep on burning.
Goodnight, I'm getting off of this helluva ride,
I'm letting go to see if i still feel alive
I'm writing you this letter,
if you'll be honest and see what you've done to me
maybe this letter will have a meaning
nevertheless we still held hands
until the final goodbye shall we part our ways
As the lights just go up all around us,
I can't believe it's becoming to be over.
I'm sitting under falling stars.
Do you miss me from where you are?
maybe our love will come back one day
until then, we have to wait out 64 sunrises
64 surises are all i have
11 sunsets are all i have
Everything you're saying sounds right tonight.
it'll take a miracle
so that's what i'm praying for.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
a tribute to sam
today (or rather yesterday) marks the demise of a *good buddy/friend/colleague/ass of mine (* delete where applicable; for best results, do not delete at all).
Nope he didn't die, he just went to hell to regroup.
ah well, in actual fact he's probably enjoying life now that he has gotten his damned Pink IC back after disruption from NS. In a way it's kinda irritating knowing that he enlisted an intake later than me but still left an "intake earlier" than me. but either way, this post is dedicated to him.
i remember the times when we bitched about the amount of shit work we had to do
i remember the times when i almost killed him
with all his whininess and trival antics
i remember the times when he messed up all my ninja lunch missions by saying "eh i have to get back on time lah"
i remember the times we stayed back in office to complete the damn websites
i remember the countless chilling out sessions we had with the others
i remember the bitching and whining he showered upon me when he was drunk
and not
i remember the many favours he did for me whenever ART was concerned
and the many favours i did for him when he had to scan documents to softcopy form
but now there won't be any more of such times cos Red Bull finally gave him wings.
anyways i hope he finds happiness now that freedom has been returned to him, may he even get a girlfriend.(haha)
but then again. 70 days more to my brand new sunset.
disruption is just a save game.
a block of memory stored in a PS2 memory card
ORD is when the game really ends.
today (or rather yesterday) marks the demise of a *good buddy/friend/colleague/ass of mine (* delete where applicable; for best results, do not delete at all).
Nope he didn't die, he just went to hell to regroup.
ah well, in actual fact he's probably enjoying life now that he has gotten his damned Pink IC back after disruption from NS. In a way it's kinda irritating knowing that he enlisted an intake later than me but still left an "intake earlier" than me. but either way, this post is dedicated to him.
i remember the times when we bitched about the amount of shit work we had to do
i remember the times when i almost killed him
with all his whininess and trival antics
i remember the times when he messed up all my ninja lunch missions by saying "eh i have to get back on time lah"
i remember the times we stayed back in office to complete the damn websites
i remember the countless chilling out sessions we had with the others
i remember the bitching and whining he showered upon me when he was drunk
and not
i remember the many favours he did for me whenever ART was concerned
and the many favours i did for him when he had to scan documents to softcopy form
but now there won't be any more of such times cos Red Bull finally gave him wings.
anyways i hope he finds happiness now that freedom has been returned to him, may he even get a girlfriend.(haha)
but then again. 70 days more to my brand new sunset.
disruption is just a save game.
a block of memory stored in a PS2 memory card
ORD is when the game really ends.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
apathy
life's still the same even though i've slightly more then 2 months left before it finally returns to normal and, although the dc visit episode has blown over, i'm still left with traces of shit of the event. work is endless they say and results ALWAYS (if not,) often unappreciated.
a colleague of mine kinda lost it today when a comment was made that he should do this and that when it was actually not under his purview. in fact, he had already taken the extra mile to help the bitching party by getting a certain task done for them. See, unappreciated. another colleague of mine was given the shit job of sourcing for potential speakers for an event; sad to say or rather, i was kinda appalled when he told me that the people he called were so fucking slack that they gave him professional remarks like "who gave you my number? ", "actually i don't like to give such talks but since we are a health organisation i am obligated to " and the likes. professionalism at it's finest i guess. makes me wonder how much work is really done in the office these days.
apathy. it's in our blood.
no matter how prim and proper you try to be, the majority of everyone else won't really give a shit, appreciate, or even care to notice that you're doing the right thing and if you're lucky, they'll even give those misfits who fail to follow the "system" a candy bar or two; sometimes with a cherry on top.
so this is how it feels
reaching for heaven
kissing the sky
tasting bitterness all around
for a lifetime on high
so this is what it is
lying forever
in the water of a pretty pool
filled with human stools
life's still the same even though i've slightly more then 2 months left before it finally returns to normal and, although the dc visit episode has blown over, i'm still left with traces of shit of the event. work is endless they say and results ALWAYS (if not,) often unappreciated.
a colleague of mine kinda lost it today when a comment was made that he should do this and that when it was actually not under his purview. in fact, he had already taken the extra mile to help the bitching party by getting a certain task done for them. See, unappreciated. another colleague of mine was given the shit job of sourcing for potential speakers for an event; sad to say or rather, i was kinda appalled when he told me that the people he called were so fucking slack that they gave him professional remarks like "who gave you my number? ", "actually i don't like to give such talks but since we are a health organisation i am obligated to " and the likes. professionalism at it's finest i guess. makes me wonder how much work is really done in the office these days.
apathy. it's in our blood.
no matter how prim and proper you try to be, the majority of everyone else won't really give a shit, appreciate, or even care to notice that you're doing the right thing and if you're lucky, they'll even give those misfits who fail to follow the "system" a candy bar or two; sometimes with a cherry on top.
so this is how it feels
reaching for heaven
kissing the sky
tasting bitterness all around
for a lifetime on high
so this is what it is
lying forever
in the water of a pretty pool
filled with human stools
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
In The Deep
Thought you had all the answers
to rest your heart upon
but something happens
don't see it coming, now
you can't stop yourself
now you're out there swimming
in the deep
Life keeps tumbling you heart in circles
till you let go
till you shed your pride and you climb to heaven
and you throw yourself off
now you're out there spinning in the deep
Thought you had all the answers
to rest your heart upon
but something happens
don't see it coming, now
you can't stop yourself
now you're out there swimming
in the deep
Life keeps tumbling you heart in circles
till you let go
till you shed your pride and you climb to heaven
and you throw yourself off
now you're out there spinning in the deep
Sunday, July 03, 2005
work on a sunday
i wasted my sunday at a shitty launch event today
it was held at the former CDANS Bt batok clubhouse
apparently SPANS (for Police NS kids) and CDANS (For SCDF NS kids) have decided to merge cos the top brass think that it was cool and we were forced to attend this heavenly event to show that we support this union of 2.
we were showing forced support.
and so we had to go..for awhile before i decided that it was too stupid and decided to leave for office to clear up some work shit which was due tomorrow.
and of course, to earn the extra hours for an ealier ord.
and to prove that i was there, below's a picture
i wasted my sunday at a shitty launch event today
it was held at the former CDANS Bt batok clubhouse
apparently SPANS (for Police NS kids) and CDANS (For SCDF NS kids) have decided to merge cos the top brass think that it was cool and we were forced to attend this heavenly event to show that we support this union of 2.
we were showing forced support.
and so we had to go..for awhile before i decided that it was too stupid and decided to leave for office to clear up some work shit which was due tomorrow.
and of course, to earn the extra hours for an ealier ord.
and to prove that i was there, below's a picture
Saturday, July 02, 2005
she
She hangs out every day near by the beach
Having a Heineken falling asleep
She looks so sexy when she’s walking the sand
Nobody ever put a ring on her hand
Swim to the oceanshore fish in the sea
She is the story the story is she
She sings to the moon and the stars in the sky
Shining from high above you shouldn’t ask why
She is the one that you never forget
She is the heaven-sent angel you met
Oh, she must be the reason why God made a girl
She is so pretty all over the world
She puts the rhythm, the beat in the drum
She comes in the morning and the evening she’s gone
Every little hour every second you live
Trust in eternity that’s what she gives
She looks like Marilyn (not the one in my office), walks like Suzanne
She talks like Monica and Marianne
She wins in everything that she might do
And she will respect you forever just you
She is the one
That you never forget
She is the heaven-sent angel you met
She must be the reason why God made a girl
She is so pretty all over the world
She is so pretty all over the world
She is so pretty
She is like you and me
Like them like we
She is in you and me
She hangs out every day near by the beach
Having a Heineken falling asleep
She looks so sexy when she’s walking the sand
Nobody ever put a ring on her hand
Swim to the oceanshore fish in the sea
She is the story the story is she
She sings to the moon and the stars in the sky
Shining from high above you shouldn’t ask why
She is the one that you never forget
She is the heaven-sent angel you met
Oh, she must be the reason why God made a girl
She is so pretty all over the world
She puts the rhythm, the beat in the drum
She comes in the morning and the evening she’s gone
Every little hour every second you live
Trust in eternity that’s what she gives
She looks like Marilyn (not the one in my office), walks like Suzanne
She talks like Monica and Marianne
She wins in everything that she might do
And she will respect you forever just you
She is the one
That you never forget
She is the heaven-sent angel you met
She must be the reason why God made a girl
She is so pretty all over the world
She is so pretty all over the world
She is so pretty
She is like you and me
Like them like we
She is in you and me
Sunday, June 26, 2005
bright lights & finer days
been walking in the rain for quite some time
tonight was different
i'm walking without lights
but it doesn't matter
i've become a creature of the night
feelings for The Goddess are slowly dying
fade to grey, like sweet blood
blending with this rain
i let go and there was no one
to catch me as i fell
in the distant i see the bright
cold lights of the city
the friendly nonchalant drone of vehicles
at this ungodly hour
i'm home
here i go. scream my lungs out
let the whole world know
she could have been The One
been walking in the rain for quite some time
tonight was different
i'm walking without lights
but it doesn't matter
i've become a creature of the night
feelings for The Goddess are slowly dying
fade to grey, like sweet blood
blending with this rain
i let go and there was no one
to catch me as i fell
in the distant i see the bright
cold lights of the city
the friendly nonchalant drone of vehicles
at this ungodly hour
i'm home
here i go. scream my lungs out
let the whole world know
she could have been The One
Saturday, June 25, 2005
suikoden 4 stinks
due to the fact that my fastcraft was wrecked from an earlier accident, i had nothing to do on this lonely friday night ...and so i decided to hit the ps2. Which later led to me to want to settle my suikoden 4 score after losing to it a month ago.
and so i leveled up from 50+ to 70+ in 4 hrs...
kicked the final bosses's ass
and got a fucked up ending.
nothing was spoken about the rune of punishment...what happened to it and crap.
fucked up ending la damn dulan.
and so i habve decided never to touch another suikoden game again.
as for the dvd, i think i shall smash it..will post pics up if i do....
i hope Xenosaga II doesn't suck
due to the fact that my fastcraft was wrecked from an earlier accident, i had nothing to do on this lonely friday night ...and so i decided to hit the ps2. Which later led to me to want to settle my suikoden 4 score after losing to it a month ago.
and so i leveled up from 50+ to 70+ in 4 hrs...
kicked the final bosses's ass
and got a fucked up ending.
nothing was spoken about the rune of punishment...what happened to it and crap.
fucked up ending la damn dulan.
and so i habve decided never to touch another suikoden game again.
as for the dvd, i think i shall smash it..will post pics up if i do....
i hope Xenosaga II doesn't suck
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Monday, June 13, 2005
perhentian
in a much better mood now. for those who don't know, i've returned from my p.perhentian diving trip. officially and advanced diver now although i can only dive up to 30ft before my sinus starts bleeding and i attract sharks.
it's disappointing, to know that i have such a low threshold as 30ft when it comes to diving. it's as good as telling me i will never be able to dive again. sadness.
anyway the trip was bittersweet. though more bitter than sweet. first, the fake tix and then the disappointment of the island being so bloody overcommercialised. really peeved t the fact that the island was dotted with resorts, leaving it barren and no longer emotionally rustic. fuck. tioman was better. probably the most comforting thing was that the dives were fun sans the bleeding whenever i cam up after the deep dives. my dive buddy was cool too though we kept messing eacher other's dives up. hah we kept on floating to the surface when our tanks were empty but oh well.
perhaps the best dive for me was the night dive; where i experienced the abyss of darkness. somehow, i felt safe down there at 30 feet. me and my buddy and the rest of the clowns with darkness engulfing us. it somehow formed a blanket of protection; leaving me safely away from the exposure of the world. but alas it only lasted 40 minutes. saw a giant sea turtle; it was very docile, being so graceful and not afraid of us all, a sturgeon, puffer fishes and a few schools of barracudas.
the journey back was somehow fucked up,think "ghost reporting" but one which left me with deep impressions. we couldn't board the bus cos of the fake tix and so we had to wait. while waiting we got to mingle around and joke and shit like that, thus knowing the guys better. and when the bus came. it was a fucking haunted one. with me and another friend being disturbed. no wonderbus driver told us to move to the front during the beginning of the trip. shan't elaborate more cos i'm still pissed over the incident.
somehow, this trip has left me feeling really weird. now that i'm back, i don't really know what to do. events of the trip somehow relentlessly flash back in my mind, leaving me to pine for the time gone by. fark. i've fallen prey to my own ideology:
what good are happy memories if they leave you sad and pining after you think of them
am i that really that afraid of returning to Singapore?
does this land and its people terrorize me so much?
who am i
and where do i come from
in a much better mood now. for those who don't know, i've returned from my p.perhentian diving trip. officially and advanced diver now although i can only dive up to 30ft before my sinus starts bleeding and i attract sharks.
it's disappointing, to know that i have such a low threshold as 30ft when it comes to diving. it's as good as telling me i will never be able to dive again. sadness.
anyway the trip was bittersweet. though more bitter than sweet. first, the fake tix and then the disappointment of the island being so bloody overcommercialised. really peeved t the fact that the island was dotted with resorts, leaving it barren and no longer emotionally rustic. fuck. tioman was better. probably the most comforting thing was that the dives were fun sans the bleeding whenever i cam up after the deep dives. my dive buddy was cool too though we kept messing eacher other's dives up. hah we kept on floating to the surface when our tanks were empty but oh well.
perhaps the best dive for me was the night dive; where i experienced the abyss of darkness. somehow, i felt safe down there at 30 feet. me and my buddy and the rest of the clowns with darkness engulfing us. it somehow formed a blanket of protection; leaving me safely away from the exposure of the world. but alas it only lasted 40 minutes. saw a giant sea turtle; it was very docile, being so graceful and not afraid of us all, a sturgeon, puffer fishes and a few schools of barracudas.
the journey back was somehow fucked up,think "ghost reporting" but one which left me with deep impressions. we couldn't board the bus cos of the fake tix and so we had to wait. while waiting we got to mingle around and joke and shit like that, thus knowing the guys better. and when the bus came. it was a fucking haunted one. with me and another friend being disturbed. no wonderbus driver told us to move to the front during the beginning of the trip. shan't elaborate more cos i'm still pissed over the incident.
somehow, this trip has left me feeling really weird. now that i'm back, i don't really know what to do. events of the trip somehow relentlessly flash back in my mind, leaving me to pine for the time gone by. fark. i've fallen prey to my own ideology:
what good are happy memories if they leave you sad and pining after you think of them
am i that really that afraid of returning to Singapore?
does this land and its people terrorize me so much?
who am i
and where do i come from
Friday, June 03, 2005
speed of sound
it's been awhile since i last wrote an entry
to sum it all
alot of shit has happened since the last post.
i've since gotten my new digicam - the casio exilim ex-Z750
won't say it's the best but at least it has manual functions for me to better customise my pictures.
i still miss my panasonic fx-7 though. the pictures from the exilim appear a tad too saturated when taken...perhaps the only consolation is that i won't be using it forever haha
my cough has since gotten better though i still get the occassional guffaw. it sucks really
perhaps i should take codeine everyday.
life this week in office has been fucked up to the max with me covering mr mia's duties and shit.
though i have an understudy i feel i shouldn't bully him too much by giving him shit to do cos he probably will have like... 21 mths of nonsense in the goddamn dept.
i realised that work never kills a man
it's the colleagues ...come to think of it, i've never really been overloaded with work by any of my superiors....either i'm too zai or...work never really killed a man--> it's the goddamn colleagues. those that shoot arrows and those that shirk responsibility.
life is fucked up.
it takes great talent to make it look cool
looking forward to perhentian man.
on a lighter note i just completed some taiwanese drama caled the "legend of speed" kindly delivered and loaned to me by the idol crazy jess. i don't usually watch such shit but alas....when it comes to cars anything goes...not a bad plot i should say though the sound effects were horrendous...after so many years the taiwanese have failed to understand the meaning of "over-exaggeration"..with the adding of irritatingly loud "deng" and "dang" and "ta da" sounds whenever some unexpected statement or event occurs....
there's a part 2 though.maybe i'll walk around Old Man's Land and check it out tml...
it's been awhile since i last wrote an entry
to sum it all
alot of shit has happened since the last post.
i've since gotten my new digicam - the casio exilim ex-Z750
won't say it's the best but at least it has manual functions for me to better customise my pictures.
i still miss my panasonic fx-7 though. the pictures from the exilim appear a tad too saturated when taken...perhaps the only consolation is that i won't be using it forever haha
my cough has since gotten better though i still get the occassional guffaw. it sucks really
perhaps i should take codeine everyday.
life this week in office has been fucked up to the max with me covering mr mia's duties and shit.
though i have an understudy i feel i shouldn't bully him too much by giving him shit to do cos he probably will have like... 21 mths of nonsense in the goddamn dept.
i realised that work never kills a man
it's the colleagues ...come to think of it, i've never really been overloaded with work by any of my superiors....either i'm too zai or...work never really killed a man--> it's the goddamn colleagues. those that shoot arrows and those that shirk responsibility.
life is fucked up.
it takes great talent to make it look cool
looking forward to perhentian man.
on a lighter note i just completed some taiwanese drama caled the "legend of speed" kindly delivered and loaned to me by the idol crazy jess. i don't usually watch such shit but alas....when it comes to cars anything goes...not a bad plot i should say though the sound effects were horrendous...after so many years the taiwanese have failed to understand the meaning of "over-exaggeration"..with the adding of irritatingly loud "deng" and "dang" and "ta da" sounds whenever some unexpected statement or event occurs....
there's a part 2 though.maybe i'll walk around Old Man's Land and check it out tml...
Sunday, May 22, 2005
i have fallen...
the trial of the rune will end
the time for atonement shall pass
the time for forgiveness shall begin
that is the destiny and the destinies of the 108 who have gathered around you
only to fail once more.
caught the 2nd season finale of The O.C tdy
and like its predecessor...it was l33t.
gonna have to wait for the 3rd season
an agonizing wait it shall be
the trial of the rune will end
the time for atonement shall pass
the time for forgiveness shall begin
that is the destiny and the destinies of the 108 who have gathered around you
only to fail once more.
caught the 2nd season finale of The O.C tdy
and like its predecessor...it was l33t.
gonna have to wait for the 3rd season
an agonizing wait it shall be
Thursday, May 19, 2005
i kissed someone today
2/3rd day out of office today
somehow being back in TRACOM gives me that feel of nostalgia of the life which i once had there. a sad life
anyway i kissed someone today
she tasted like plastic
and somehow her unfeeling lips seemed cold to me
yes. i kissed a dummy
but it was all in the name of first aid....
i realised that if i slept early everynight
i will be able to open my eyes properly the next morning instead of forcing them to stay open.
2/3rd day out of office today
somehow being back in TRACOM gives me that feel of nostalgia of the life which i once had there. a sad life
anyway i kissed someone today
she tasted like plastic
and somehow her unfeeling lips seemed cold to me
yes. i kissed a dummy
but it was all in the name of first aid....
i realised that if i slept early everynight
i will be able to open my eyes properly the next morning instead of forcing them to stay open.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
abs
i just got back from sending a friend home after attending another friend's grandmother's funeral
and i almost fucking died
ok i was exggeraing...
i just got back from sending a friend home after attending another friend's grandmother's funeral
and i almost fucking crashed my dad's car.
it so happened alot the exit of eng neo ave. where i had to negotiate a right turn into bukit timah road.
lights were green
everything alright
i turned and oh my fucking shit ass there was this piece of renault kangoo on my right cutting into my lane (it was the exreme left lane and i bloody hell well swear that i was in my correct lane)
i horned once. a polite one
the fucker continued to move in
and so i have to call upon good ol' ABS by jamming the brakes.
fuck man i was so pissed that i gave him a very good honking until i think i wore the batterries out. (cos my lights dimmed abit)
fucking ass. damn dulan
but i liked the part where i gave the bastard half a cars-length to jam brake when i cut him back to go into 6th avenue. (bo pian...i had to make the turn lol)
or maybe i was too generous?
fucker. dun let me see you on the roads again.
and he was carrying a family for God's sake
what if they all died?
i'd be so sorry for them
right.
a few seconds later and i would have lost my SQA award.
i just got back from sending a friend home after attending another friend's grandmother's funeral
and i almost fucking died
ok i was exggeraing...
i just got back from sending a friend home after attending another friend's grandmother's funeral
and i almost fucking crashed my dad's car.
it so happened alot the exit of eng neo ave. where i had to negotiate a right turn into bukit timah road.
lights were green
everything alright
i turned and oh my fucking shit ass there was this piece of renault kangoo on my right cutting into my lane (it was the exreme left lane and i bloody hell well swear that i was in my correct lane)
i horned once. a polite one
the fucker continued to move in
and so i have to call upon good ol' ABS by jamming the brakes.
fuck man i was so pissed that i gave him a very good honking until i think i wore the batterries out. (cos my lights dimmed abit)
fucking ass. damn dulan
but i liked the part where i gave the bastard half a cars-length to jam brake when i cut him back to go into 6th avenue. (bo pian...i had to make the turn lol)
or maybe i was too generous?
fucker. dun let me see you on the roads again.
and he was carrying a family for God's sake
what if they all died?
i'd be so sorry for them
right.
a few seconds later and i would have lost my SQA award.
Saturday, May 14, 2005
and so it is
just got back from wala wala with the ones that remained steadfast in their decision to go there. it's so ironic that we're guys and some of us can't really make a decision and stick to it right to the end. so sad as it seems that the male species should end up this way. tonight's music was alright tho i preferred last week's session and guess what, i did manage to grab hold of gabriel at the end of his gig. and surprising he still remembers me...looks like my common face was unable to make him not remember me...should be meeting up with him and his buddy together with amias and the gang...the gang which was formed like...5 years ago...wtf
somehow, i'm back into the phase where i'd wanna be proactive...to step into the sun again...
but i hate the sun.
just got back from wala wala with the ones that remained steadfast in their decision to go there. it's so ironic that we're guys and some of us can't really make a decision and stick to it right to the end. so sad as it seems that the male species should end up this way. tonight's music was alright tho i preferred last week's session and guess what, i did manage to grab hold of gabriel at the end of his gig. and surprising he still remembers me...looks like my common face was unable to make him not remember me...should be meeting up with him and his buddy together with amias and the gang...the gang which was formed like...5 years ago...wtf
somehow, i'm back into the phase where i'd wanna be proactive...to step into the sun again...
but i hate the sun.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
the broker
just completed reading john grisham's latest piece of literature today. it's better than the previous one i guess (the last juror) which totally pissed me off. "the broker" appeared to be boring at the beginning maybe cos i was reading it in office and had to stay low w/o getting caught. anyway it was cool with the protagonisist's signature changing of identities and classic clandestine fleetings from the usual suspects. this is the book which prevented me from boycotting his future books.
i want to travel through time
see your surprise
i'd hold you so tight
i'm counting down the days tonight
138 days to ord!
just completed reading john grisham's latest piece of literature today. it's better than the previous one i guess (the last juror) which totally pissed me off. "the broker" appeared to be boring at the beginning maybe cos i was reading it in office and had to stay low w/o getting caught. anyway it was cool with the protagonisist's signature changing of identities and classic clandestine fleetings from the usual suspects. this is the book which prevented me from boycotting his future books.
i want to travel through time
see your surprise
i'd hold you so tight
i'm counting down the days tonight
138 days to ord!
Saturday, May 07, 2005
goobye darling
nothing much happened this week..maybe cos i was still recovering from the memory of tioman. i've also managed to impart most of the shit which i do in office to my understudy , what's left are the last minute recovery of stunts pulled by others i guess. was suppossed to go "chill out" with the guys yesterday but we ended up wasting most of our time until the part when 11pm arrived when the better of us zipped off to wala wala to check the live band e.i.c out. not a bad band i especially liked their rendition of "the blower's daughter" ....it was emo man.evidently, it turned out that i so happen to know their bassist, gabriel whom i worked with during my spastic years before entering poly...but i don't think he recognises me anymore now so fuckit.
i sold my camera for $450 bucks today. reason cos i wanted to get a higher end one which has an underwater jacket. but after speaking with the dood i realised that having an underwater jacket would only be good for macro pics and not wide angle pics. what was i thinking? anyway i kinda miss my fx-7. i guess it's like everything else after i lose them.
nothing much happened this week..maybe cos i was still recovering from the memory of tioman. i've also managed to impart most of the shit which i do in office to my understudy , what's left are the last minute recovery of stunts pulled by others i guess. was suppossed to go "chill out" with the guys yesterday but we ended up wasting most of our time until the part when 11pm arrived when the better of us zipped off to wala wala to check the live band e.i.c out. not a bad band i especially liked their rendition of "the blower's daughter" ....it was emo man.evidently, it turned out that i so happen to know their bassist, gabriel whom i worked with during my spastic years before entering poly...but i don't think he recognises me anymore now so fuckit.
i sold my camera for $450 bucks today. reason cos i wanted to get a higher end one which has an underwater jacket. but after speaking with the dood i realised that having an underwater jacket would only be good for macro pics and not wide angle pics. what was i thinking? anyway i kinda miss my fx-7. i guess it's like everything else after i lose them.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
renewed ; reinvented
the past 2 days were spent on an island east of malaysia called tioman.
life over there was really an "island life" and not like the one which SDC so blatantly took and branded Sentosa with. the folks there were simple and though they were poor in the eyes of us city dwellers, they were truly happy.
it didn't take me long to realise that i could easily have that kind of life if i just decided to shut myself off from the rest of the world which i live in now. to just drop everything that invisibly tied me to them and escape.
and during those few moments of taking in the salty air and tasting the spray of the sea at 20 knots i decided that to do the latter would be denying myself of being a survivor of the urban jungle. no doubt the island was beautiful, but i have my own waves to battle.
snorkelling, frolicking, dancing in the ocean, i never felt so free to be so helpless in the sea but yet in control. maybe i should run away from home more often. maybe such things in life were meant to make Life less shitty though only for a moment in time.
a pity the island of tioman is dying though, with its obnoxious tourists who carelessly trample and litter its marine sanctuary not forgetting the destruction of her forests for more resorts.
they paved paradise to put up a parking lot.
after all the birds have left the beach
you have to swim alone
you have to come back home
twenty days turns into twenty weeks
and memories left at sea
have washed upon the beach
once a wave of joy came over me
i paid it great attention
and it collapsed on me
and since then Life seemed so nasty
i could find a life beyond this beach
i'll build a simple house
away from maddenning crowds
simple plans for a simple man
for of what worth when Death arrives
i pay it no attention
and then it supports me.
after all the birds have left the beach
you have to swim alone
you have to come back home
twenty days turns into twenty weeks
and memories left at sea
have washed upon the beach
the past 2 days were spent on an island east of malaysia called tioman.
life over there was really an "island life" and not like the one which SDC so blatantly took and branded Sentosa with. the folks there were simple and though they were poor in the eyes of us city dwellers, they were truly happy.
it didn't take me long to realise that i could easily have that kind of life if i just decided to shut myself off from the rest of the world which i live in now. to just drop everything that invisibly tied me to them and escape.
and during those few moments of taking in the salty air and tasting the spray of the sea at 20 knots i decided that to do the latter would be denying myself of being a survivor of the urban jungle. no doubt the island was beautiful, but i have my own waves to battle.
snorkelling, frolicking, dancing in the ocean, i never felt so free to be so helpless in the sea but yet in control. maybe i should run away from home more often. maybe such things in life were meant to make Life less shitty though only for a moment in time.
a pity the island of tioman is dying though, with its obnoxious tourists who carelessly trample and litter its marine sanctuary not forgetting the destruction of her forests for more resorts.
they paved paradise to put up a parking lot.
after all the birds have left the beach
you have to swim alone
you have to come back home
twenty days turns into twenty weeks
and memories left at sea
have washed upon the beach
once a wave of joy came over me
i paid it great attention
and it collapsed on me
and since then Life seemed so nasty
i could find a life beyond this beach
i'll build a simple house
away from maddenning crowds
simple plans for a simple man
for of what worth when Death arrives
i pay it no attention
and then it supports me.
after all the birds have left the beach
you have to swim alone
you have to come back home
twenty days turns into twenty weeks
and memories left at sea
have washed upon the beach
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
embrace
embrace me
tighter than ever
i hear your voice on a restless night
the world will drown in blood someday
just let me forget the existence of time
i don't want to know
what the future holds
i don't want to wait anymore
in expectation,surety
defying Providence of all rights
no more reason no more ties
i don't care if its all lies
sing for me
a song that will bind
true love to death
my heart to Thine.
embrace me
tighter than ever
i hear your voice on a restless night
the world will drown in blood someday
just let me forget the existence of time
i don't want to know
what the future holds
i don't want to wait anymore
in expectation,surety
defying Providence of all rights
no more reason no more ties
i don't care if its all lies
sing for me
a song that will bind
true love to death
my heart to Thine.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
it's the care bears countdown: 5,4,3,2,1
the past week has been a crazy one for me
crazy as in crazy
with my new understudy, i feel that i've lost my privacy,
my space, my computer and my chair.
but based on the law of conservation, it means i would have gained a little ounce of freedom. the freedom of asking him to do my shit..which would also at the same time, be preparing him for the happy life he would have in the dept.
another crazy thing which happened was that i took on the "carebear quest" of helping my friend who's studying in australia buy 2 carebears and shipping it off to her (well it's for her friend's friend friend boyfriend girlfriend etc..complicated lah)...
which led me to running around town buying the bears cos like all RPGs (role playing games) you don't usually get the "Treasure" at the same place. and like most rpgs, i bought a wrong carebear but with this being "Life" nothing can be resetted and so she said nmind.
crazy.
i want to find a girlfriend! so that she can buy me Qoo!
the past week has been a crazy one for me
crazy as in crazy
with my new understudy, i feel that i've lost my privacy,
my space, my computer and my chair.
but based on the law of conservation, it means i would have gained a little ounce of freedom. the freedom of asking him to do my shit..which would also at the same time, be preparing him for the happy life he would have in the dept.
another crazy thing which happened was that i took on the "carebear quest" of helping my friend who's studying in australia buy 2 carebears and shipping it off to her (well it's for her friend's friend friend boyfriend girlfriend etc..complicated lah)...
which led me to running around town buying the bears cos like all RPGs (role playing games) you don't usually get the "Treasure" at the same place. and like most rpgs, i bought a wrong carebear but with this being "Life" nothing can be resetted and so she said nmind.
crazy.
i want to find a girlfriend! so that she can buy me Qoo!
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Saturday, April 16, 2005
after the storm
had no time to write lately cos the previous week was full of shit
monday saw me running around the complex facilitating a training session for morons
tuesday nothing
wednesday saw me running around the world again in preparation for the stupid workplan seminar
thu and yesterday was wasted at the seminar
if you asked me..it was a total waste of time. for once i so longed to go back to office
the lesser of 2 evils i guess.
my understudy will report for work in 2 days time...
many green eyed people have questioned me on his oh-so early arrival
i guess all i can say to them is "sorry guys, it's the karma"
after taking so much shit how can the higher powers NOT see my pain?
just too bad huh.
just can't wait for april to be over though
for that will mark the end of my busy period.
period period period...
ever wonder why i said period?
cos...
it's the only time which is enough to piss me off until i bleed.
had no time to write lately cos the previous week was full of shit
monday saw me running around the complex facilitating a training session for morons
tuesday nothing
wednesday saw me running around the world again in preparation for the stupid workplan seminar
thu and yesterday was wasted at the seminar
if you asked me..it was a total waste of time. for once i so longed to go back to office
the lesser of 2 evils i guess.
my understudy will report for work in 2 days time...
many green eyed people have questioned me on his oh-so early arrival
i guess all i can say to them is "sorry guys, it's the karma"
after taking so much shit how can the higher powers NOT see my pain?
just too bad huh.
just can't wait for april to be over though
for that will mark the end of my busy period.
period period period...
ever wonder why i said period?
cos...
it's the only time which is enough to piss me off until i bleed.
Saturday, April 09, 2005
the understudy
so much has happened within the past days
i've gone back to the Beginning of my existance
and am now back in hellmouth
strangely though everything seems to be getting better
i'm not sure if it's just the ebbing tide of fortune hitting me at it's peak right now
or things have really changed
they definetly did today (or rather yesterday)
when my understudy came.
i did not believe that mine would come so early initially..
but surprisingly, they said he was mine
so what can i say...i mean...COOL.
that's just the beginning though
gotta train him to be a true blue stealth assasin and to cover his ass at all times
so much has happened within the past days
i've gone back to the Beginning of my existance
and am now back in hellmouth
strangely though everything seems to be getting better
i'm not sure if it's just the ebbing tide of fortune hitting me at it's peak right now
or things have really changed
they definetly did today (or rather yesterday)
when my understudy came.
i did not believe that mine would come so early initially..
but surprisingly, they said he was mine
so what can i say...i mean...COOL.
that's just the beginning though
gotta train him to be a true blue stealth assasin and to cover his ass at all times
Friday, April 01, 2005
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
look to you
when i look into the sky above
wonder how my life was made
wonder what am i doing here
wonder how Your love it came to me
when i look into the sky above
the only thing worth looking for
all my fears so far away
all my burdens cast away
for those nanoseconds
all i feel is the presence of Heaven
and when i look back onto this earth
i am thrust back into hell again
so i look to you
so i look to you
no one else will do
no one else will do
i know you love me
i know you died for me
i know you care
i know you live again
your life for all my sin
now i stand here
in your grace again
so i look to you
so i look to you
no one else will do
no one else will do
when i look into the sky above
wonder how my life was made
wonder what am i doing here
wonder how Your love it came to me
when i look into the sky above
the only thing worth looking for
all my fears so far away
all my burdens cast away
for those nanoseconds
all i feel is the presence of Heaven
and when i look back onto this earth
i am thrust back into hell again
so i look to you
so i look to you
no one else will do
no one else will do
i know you love me
i know you died for me
i know you care
i know you live again
your life for all my sin
now i stand here
in your grace again
so i look to you
so i look to you
no one else will do
no one else will do
look to you
when i look into the sky above
wonder how my life was made
wonder what am i doing here
wonder how Your love it came to me
when i look into the sky above
the only thing worth looking for
all my fears so far away
all my burdens cast away
for those nanoseconds
all i feel is the presence of Heaven
and when i look back onto this earth
i am thrust back into hell again
so i look to you
so i look to you
no one else will do
no one else will do
i know you love me
i know you died for me
i know you care
i know you live again
your life for all my sin
now i stand here
in your grace again
so i look to you
so i look to you
no one else will do
no one else will do
when i look into the sky above
wonder how my life was made
wonder what am i doing here
wonder how Your love it came to me
when i look into the sky above
the only thing worth looking for
all my fears so far away
all my burdens cast away
for those nanoseconds
all i feel is the presence of Heaven
and when i look back onto this earth
i am thrust back into hell again
so i look to you
so i look to you
no one else will do
no one else will do
i know you love me
i know you died for me
i know you care
i know you live again
your life for all my sin
now i stand here
in your grace again
so i look to you
so i look to you
no one else will do
no one else will do
Monday, March 28, 2005
discernment
while i was eating breakfast this morning languidly pushing my shrivelled strips of bacon into my raw mouth a thought came to me
"check your singtel globalroam status cos it may be screwed"
i would usually ignore such thoughts cos they aren't necessarily necessary unless in this case i'm flying overseas. and so i checked.
tinkering with the crispy buttons i smsed singtel
and got this message "please check with your operator by dialling 1626"
great.
the power of doubt is so divine indeed.
while i was eating breakfast this morning languidly pushing my shrivelled strips of bacon into my raw mouth a thought came to me
"check your singtel globalroam status cos it may be screwed"
i would usually ignore such thoughts cos they aren't necessarily necessary unless in this case i'm flying overseas. and so i checked.
tinkering with the crispy buttons i smsed singtel
and got this message "please check with your operator by dialling 1626"
great.
the power of doubt is so divine indeed.
chasing the storm
i'm chasing the storm
fighting against
the waves of passion
its wearing me down
this mass of insurrection
breaking my spirit
and mental locomotion
They will see me waving
from such great depths
But everything looks perfect
from far away,
and thus i die with
this wonderful mishap
the shrillest highs
and lowest lows
of a soap opera foretold
i'm chasing the storm
fighting against
the waves of passion
its wearing me down
this mass of insurrection
breaking my spirit
and mental locomotion
They will see me waving
from such great depths
But everything looks perfect
from far away,
and thus i die with
this wonderful mishap
the shrillest highs
and lowest lows
of a soap opera foretold
Friday, March 25, 2005
hope springs eternal
for the past 48 hours i've been viewing a Smogesbord of movies
happy holidays indeed
i need my eye-mo
hah i stumbled upon a poem by alexander pope
looks like i'm not the only cynic here
hope springs eternal in the human breast
man never is but always to be blest:
the soul, uneasy and confin'd from home
rests and expatiates in a life to come
no idea what that meant?
basically it means
life's a bitch until you die
for the past 48 hours i've been viewing a Smogesbord of movies
happy holidays indeed
i need my eye-mo
hah i stumbled upon a poem by alexander pope
looks like i'm not the only cynic here
hope springs eternal in the human breast
man never is but always to be blest:
the soul, uneasy and confin'd from home
rests and expatiates in a life to come
no idea what that meant?
basically it means
life's a bitch until you die
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
hindsight
in hindsight, my hamster orded 2 days ago
in hindsight, i've spent about 20 months
in the national service
in hindsight, i regretted not trusting my judgement
in hindsight, i've cried many times
not forgetting
in hindsight , i've stabbed many others too
a good friend of mine Qimou just collected his pink ic today.
i felt happy for him
and a sense of loss for myself
i no longer have a buddy to go on
"special operations" with anymore
not forgetting the ever adreanline-pumping
"oceans 3" and the many situations of "recovery" when some shit happened to us
he really made my ns stint a less boring one.
and now i'll spend 6 lonely months
maybe i should follow my colleague and eat 2 dou sar paus a day
since there're not many heppenning kids to go out with anymore
i hate to lie
though i can't speak the truth
for truth be told
and alliances formed
to dust the kingdom will become
along with it
its laws
i need to ord soon
in hindsight, my hamster orded 2 days ago
in hindsight, i've spent about 20 months
in the national service
in hindsight, i regretted not trusting my judgement
in hindsight, i've cried many times
not forgetting
in hindsight , i've stabbed many others too
a good friend of mine Qimou just collected his pink ic today.
i felt happy for him
and a sense of loss for myself
i no longer have a buddy to go on
"special operations" with anymore
not forgetting the ever adreanline-pumping
"oceans 3" and the many situations of "recovery" when some shit happened to us
he really made my ns stint a less boring one.
and now i'll spend 6 lonely months
maybe i should follow my colleague and eat 2 dou sar paus a day
since there're not many heppenning kids to go out with anymore
i hate to lie
though i can't speak the truth
for truth be told
and alliances formed
to dust the kingdom will become
along with it
its laws
i need to ord soon
Thursday, March 17, 2005
empty
just got back from another signature clubbing session with my colleagues
somehow the feeling is always the same
that same feeling of euphoria with the alcohol flowing through your blood
that same feeling of release the loud music provides
that same feeling of security of bathing in the darkness
that same feeling of longing for that one girl whom you might have
a chance with meeting
that same feeling of light-headedness when you've had too much to drink
the feeling of disappointment when you realise that the girl who catches your eye
is lesbian
that same feeling of emptiness when it's all over.
the value of joy has lost its meaning
the value of passion has lost its charm
somehow i'm feeling happy, yet a sense of loss
that choking feeling of emptiness within my soul.
I have a God.
I have a Life.
what am i missing actually?
on a side, i feel like killing the idiot who agreed to buy my md player. re-asking me questions on whether it can record, does it have cable etc when i've actually stated cleary on the web auction.and arguing over the meeting place. this is one of the reasons i'll never venture into the area of "Business". you just have to take so much shit for a pathetic 30 dollars.
so much effort for so little value for money
the law of idiocracy exists for some good reason
so does
the law of conservation
just got back from another signature clubbing session with my colleagues
somehow the feeling is always the same
that same feeling of euphoria with the alcohol flowing through your blood
that same feeling of release the loud music provides
that same feeling of security of bathing in the darkness
that same feeling of longing for that one girl whom you might have
a chance with meeting
that same feeling of light-headedness when you've had too much to drink
the feeling of disappointment when you realise that the girl who catches your eye
is lesbian
that same feeling of emptiness when it's all over.
the value of joy has lost its meaning
the value of passion has lost its charm
somehow i'm feeling happy, yet a sense of loss
that choking feeling of emptiness within my soul.
I have a God.
I have a Life.
what am i missing actually?
on a side, i feel like killing the idiot who agreed to buy my md player. re-asking me questions on whether it can record, does it have cable etc when i've actually stated cleary on the web auction.and arguing over the meeting place. this is one of the reasons i'll never venture into the area of "Business". you just have to take so much shit for a pathetic 30 dollars.
so much effort for so little value for money
the law of idiocracy exists for some good reason
so does
the law of conservation
Monday, March 14, 2005
saddy
the fish tank is gone.
all that remains is just an empty space
wherein lie the ps2 and tv set
I lived my life in darkness
Never the sun on my face
It didn't seem so sad, though
I figured that was my place
until I was bathed in light
everything just didn't seem right
before the day the passion died
before the day my emotions lied
How else could it be
Anyone would notice me?
It's magic, I can tell
How she set me free
Brought me out so easily
and so where do i go from here
this overwhelming lifespring of emptiness
I saw a world enchanted
and all i did was take it for granted
the spirits in my room
little balls of light
charming me to retain their sight
but it had to go
the passion has died
holding on would give Pain its pride
You made me believe
but all that remains now
but at least i know now
that i'm not truly
the fish tank is gone.
all that remains is just an empty space
wherein lie the ps2 and tv set
I lived my life in darkness
Never the sun on my face
It didn't seem so sad, though
I figured that was my place
until I was bathed in light
everything just didn't seem right
before the day the passion died
before the day my emotions lied
How else could it be
Anyone would notice me?
It's magic, I can tell
How she set me free
Brought me out so easily
and so where do i go from here
this overwhelming lifespring of emptiness
I saw a world enchanted
and all i did was take it for granted
the spirits in my room
little balls of light
charming me to retain their sight
but it had to go
the passion has died
holding on would give Pain its pride
You made me believe
but all that remains now
but at least i know now
that i'm not truly
Friday, March 11, 2005
kill them all
recently i've been plagued my shit
must be owing to the fact that the financial year is coming to an end and everyon'es rushing to clear whatever shit they have collected for the past year
i wish i didn't have to feel this way
i wish that they would all go away
to their musty cells and vinyl boxes
to the darkest depths of hell
away from me
away from virtuality
recently i've been plagued my shit
must be owing to the fact that the financial year is coming to an end and everyon'es rushing to clear whatever shit they have collected for the past year
i wish i didn't have to feel this way
i wish that they would all go away
to their musty cells and vinyl boxes
to the darkest depths of hell
away from me
away from virtuality
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
crosell
i've tried to tell you
time and time again
the Elevator's broken
be the humble buffalo and pick up,
the yoke of selfless sin
but like the mustard seed in the sky
blatantly biting down on every
inch of my slivered spine
you continued to shine.
and from a distance i thought i heard
the wakening of the Behemoth
something wicked this way comes.
i've tried to tell you
time and time again
the Elevator's broken
be the humble buffalo and pick up,
the yoke of selfless sin
but like the mustard seed in the sky
blatantly biting down on every
inch of my slivered spine
you continued to shine.
and from a distance i thought i heard
the wakening of the Behemoth
something wicked this way comes.
my love has died
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
i wanna sell my 2 ft fishtank with pump n light
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
help me ask arnd if any1 wants
Ang's Foundation says:
wah, wat happen?
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
sian already
Ang's Foundation says:
liew... no care for your fishes
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
y
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
after the love is gone all that remains is dust
Ang's Foundation says:
fuck u
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
isn't it true
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
ang ki mou
Ang's Foundation says:
after love is gone, all that remains is nothing la
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
dust
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
dust remains so that there is a possibility that a tiny speck of it
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
could cause a spark and relight the fire
Ang's Foundation says:
idea huh....
Ang's Foundation says:
hehehe
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
but in my case for fishkeeping..
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
after the love is gone all that remains is nothing.
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
i wanna sell my 2 ft fishtank with pump n light
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
help me ask arnd if any1 wants
Ang's Foundation says:
wah, wat happen?
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
sian already
Ang's Foundation says:
liew... no care for your fishes
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
y
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
after the love is gone all that remains is dust
Ang's Foundation says:
fuck u
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
isn't it true
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
ang ki mou
Ang's Foundation says:
after love is gone, all that remains is nothing la
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
dust
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
dust remains so that there is a possibility that a tiny speck of it
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
could cause a spark and relight the fire
Ang's Foundation says:
idea huh....
Ang's Foundation says:
hehehe
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
but in my case for fishkeeping..
valiance <-> i would you were as if you would have me be. says:
after the love is gone all that remains is nothing.
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Saturday, March 05, 2005
silent tears
sometimes i lie awake at night
wondering what my life was like
broken dreams and broken lies
wide awake,right thru the night
laws of time, laws of life
times of silence and times of tide
clueless as i may be
right up till this day
as this night goes on.
and i can't feel the pain
anymore unlike last time
the synapses have gone
to a faraway land
leaving my soul in greater disdain
no doctor, warlock nor priest can heal
this broken spirit of mine
except
206 teardrops
from a virgin's eye
weeping for me
every-Day
sometimes i lie awake at night
wondering what my life was like
broken dreams and broken lies
wide awake,right thru the night
laws of time, laws of life
times of silence and times of tide
clueless as i may be
right up till this day
as this night goes on.
and i can't feel the pain
anymore unlike last time
the synapses have gone
to a faraway land
leaving my soul in greater disdain
no doctor, warlock nor priest can heal
this broken spirit of mine
except
206 teardrops
from a virgin's eye
weeping for me
every-Day
Monday, February 28, 2005
Healthy Lifestyle '05
today was spent at the island resort of sentosa
with it's pseudo landscaping and psuedo beach(ches)
playing 7 rounds of volleyball.
it's my my dept's healthy lifestyle thingy alalbeit the ironic title
(ie you will not have a healthy lifestyle just cos' u go for the dept's healthy lifestyle campaign)
nevertheless, it beats being in the damn office where shit is perpetually flying aroud the office waiting to lend on the least unsuspecting person.
it was rather fun i should say, aimlessly running around playing vball and dragging people into the sea. not forgetting the posing. the beach is a place where you can legally be a poseur. but :
again. chicks were lacking.
wtf man to think that a part of saf had to be there literally made siloso beach A questionable beach in sentosa...but overall a fun day
especially swimming out to sea against the threatening waves. the feeling of helplessness...was like an orgasm.
today was spent at the island resort of sentosa
with it's pseudo landscaping and psuedo beach(ches)
playing 7 rounds of volleyball.
it's my my dept's healthy lifestyle thingy alalbeit the ironic title
(ie you will not have a healthy lifestyle just cos' u go for the dept's healthy lifestyle campaign)
nevertheless, it beats being in the damn office where shit is perpetually flying aroud the office waiting to lend on the least unsuspecting person.
it was rather fun i should say, aimlessly running around playing vball and dragging people into the sea. not forgetting the posing. the beach is a place where you can legally be a poseur. but :
again. chicks were lacking.
wtf man to think that a part of saf had to be there literally made siloso beach A questionable beach in sentosa...but overall a fun day
especially swimming out to sea against the threatening waves. the feeling of helplessness...was like an orgasm.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
fateless.
fate is for those who cannot change their destiny
i opened my eyes and i am
blinded by the white light
tried to make out the day
tried to make out the time
but all i made out was haze
And I can't stand the sound
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the rain
How could this happen to me
I was supposed to dive
and now with overcast skies
night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
soon my phone starts beeping
and everybody calls out to me
their silent anguish
and cheated hearts
lashing out at me
and for the added cut
my buddy's not coming
cos she is sick
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I want to return to a point
when i can respawn again
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
now the sky has cleared....right after this bitching
but i may still be unable to dive
fate is for those who cannot change their destiny
i opened my eyes and i am
blinded by the white light
tried to make out the day
tried to make out the time
but all i made out was haze
And I can't stand the sound
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the rain
How could this happen to me
I was supposed to dive
and now with overcast skies
night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
soon my phone starts beeping
and everybody calls out to me
their silent anguish
and cheated hearts
lashing out at me
and for the added cut
my buddy's not coming
cos she is sick
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I want to return to a point
when i can respawn again
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
now the sky has cleared....right after this bitching
but i may still be unable to dive
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
adjusting
it's been a week of adjustment for me...
one thing's for sure : the office is still a zoo.
and now w/o one of my clowniest colleagues, its a challenge trying to feel at ease in the loony bin. i've also started to take the bus back (instead of the mrt and then switching to a feeder bus).
it's hell.
firstly cos the bus smells of axe oil;
secondly, it's full and crowded with old people most of the time. and they always rush for seats and to get on/off the bus. sometimes they make me think that thay are rushing to die by doing that...
thirdly, it takes a bloody half an hour or more to reach home and it's damn slow.
but what to do? no kaki to go home with already.
i'm more or less alone again. with syl and ahpek back in australia (and the other aussie kids); justin's in brunei and more to leave in the near future. (think 110 intake kids). i need to ord soon.
i've been having weird dreams lately. the type that are kinda prophetic. so much that its scaring me once more. namely: car crashes and confrontational fights and on love.
and its strange that lately i've been thinking alot about love. how it spurs and motivates us; influences us to do the most ridiculous things just to obtain that very object of affection; of the passion ignited that to a certain floored extent, can even drive us to kill. to Death does it not end.
but when it's over, it's over.
i once believed in Love. until i gave it away.
and strangly after watching buffy tonight, in the last episode of season 6 ep where Xander tells Willow (who's now bent on destroying the world 'cos she was filled with grief upon the loss of her Love, Tara) he loves her ( as a friend), she woke up her idea and loses her power and eveyone lives happily ever after. Love conquers all huh.
Faith Hope and Love are the 3 greatest things
the greatest is Love.
maybe.
and maybe one day i'll find my way
out of the woods, into the day
where the pain has been embraced
and the tears, dried
that's where i'll want to be
in the silence of the Night.
it's been a week of adjustment for me...
one thing's for sure : the office is still a zoo.
and now w/o one of my clowniest colleagues, its a challenge trying to feel at ease in the loony bin. i've also started to take the bus back (instead of the mrt and then switching to a feeder bus).
it's hell.
firstly cos the bus smells of axe oil;
secondly, it's full and crowded with old people most of the time. and they always rush for seats and to get on/off the bus. sometimes they make me think that thay are rushing to die by doing that...
thirdly, it takes a bloody half an hour or more to reach home and it's damn slow.
but what to do? no kaki to go home with already.
i'm more or less alone again. with syl and ahpek back in australia (and the other aussie kids); justin's in brunei and more to leave in the near future. (think 110 intake kids). i need to ord soon.
i've been having weird dreams lately. the type that are kinda prophetic. so much that its scaring me once more. namely: car crashes and confrontational fights and on love.
and its strange that lately i've been thinking alot about love. how it spurs and motivates us; influences us to do the most ridiculous things just to obtain that very object of affection; of the passion ignited that to a certain floored extent, can even drive us to kill. to Death does it not end.
but when it's over, it's over.
i once believed in Love. until i gave it away.
and strangly after watching buffy tonight, in the last episode of season 6 ep where Xander tells Willow (who's now bent on destroying the world 'cos she was filled with grief upon the loss of her Love, Tara) he loves her ( as a friend), she woke up her idea and loses her power and eveyone lives happily ever after. Love conquers all huh.
Faith Hope and Love are the 3 greatest things
the greatest is Love.
maybe.
and maybe one day i'll find my way
out of the woods, into the day
where the pain has been embraced
and the tears, dried
that's where i'll want to be
in the silence of the Night.
Saturday, February 19, 2005
8138
today is one of my most disappointing days.
i let god's gift slip past me (well not exactly god's gift i just said it to make the gift sound divine)
it all happened yesterday, the 18th of feb
my department was having this cny celebration and they hired a lion dance troupe to dance for them
at the end of the dance, the lion peeled the oranges and arranged them to form the numbers '8318'
but not wanting to be kiasu, i went to take a look at them at the end of the show
and so at the end of the show, i went ONTO the stage to look at the numbers (cos being me, i hate crowds and there was a crowd blocking my view off stage)
so they appeared as '8138' to me (cos mirror effect mah)
and i noted them in my hp
now i dun really gamble but the thought of buying the numbers did come to me while i was taking the bus to the public pool for a swim. but still...i din buy (cos i am not a goddamn gambler!~!!)
well anyways, i came home only to be greeted by the sharp tv set
with the 4d page and the yellow words "1st prize : 8138"
my first reaction was "ok..get ready to say "FUCK" "
and second reaction was to check my note which i wrote in my hp
well the order of reactions kinda switched but yeah you know the rest.
i let $2000 slip past me (if i bought $1 big i think; i'm not a gambler)
but hey maybe next time i'll strike 4d/toto with more money? or get a happenning girlfriend or something? or maybe win a sportscar ? or maybe be an unamed heir to a family of rich old men?
ok. stop consoling myself already.
i was the only idiot who saw it that way
and the bigger to brush aside the thought of buy 4d tdy
but then again,
eventually, everything is emotional.
today is one of my most disappointing days.
i let god's gift slip past me (well not exactly god's gift i just said it to make the gift sound divine)
it all happened yesterday, the 18th of feb
my department was having this cny celebration and they hired a lion dance troupe to dance for them
at the end of the dance, the lion peeled the oranges and arranged them to form the numbers '8318'
but not wanting to be kiasu, i went to take a look at them at the end of the show
and so at the end of the show, i went ONTO the stage to look at the numbers (cos being me, i hate crowds and there was a crowd blocking my view off stage)
so they appeared as '8138' to me (cos mirror effect mah)
and i noted them in my hp
now i dun really gamble but the thought of buying the numbers did come to me while i was taking the bus to the public pool for a swim. but still...i din buy (cos i am not a goddamn gambler!~!!)
well anyways, i came home only to be greeted by the sharp tv set
with the 4d page and the yellow words "1st prize : 8138"
my first reaction was "ok..get ready to say "FUCK" "
and second reaction was to check my note which i wrote in my hp
well the order of reactions kinda switched but yeah you know the rest.
i let $2000 slip past me (if i bought $1 big i think; i'm not a gambler)
but hey maybe next time i'll strike 4d/toto with more money? or get a happenning girlfriend or something? or maybe win a sportscar ? or maybe be an unamed heir to a family of rich old men?
ok. stop consoling myself already.
i was the only idiot who saw it that way
and the bigger to brush aside the thought of buy 4d tdy
but then again,
eventually, everything is emotional.
Monday, February 14, 2005
over
the main 2 days of festivities are over
and i'm now feeling emptiness within me
it's over
that's the problem.
what happens when something which you looked forward for,
waited for, hoped for, longed for, enjoyed for
has come and passed you by?
it basically means it's over doesn't it
which makes you question the wortiness of it all
whether the sweat, blood, tears heartache, perseverance is really worth
spending just for that one thing
which will eventually
be over?
maybe that's why i am the way i am
constantly thinking whether the motion of all that is really worth the extent
is what i always do.
but then again
thoughts can never be action thus never achieving a reaction.
i'm down with flu
but i'm recovering soon.
and tdy is sickening valentine's day
not that i'm a sour grape or what
but it sickens me to see the over commercialization of the death anniversary of Valentine. (now known as saint Valentine)
how many people actually know that
he was beheaded on the 14th of feb cos he defied the orders of Claudious II which were not to get married if not they would be wusses and stay home and not fight his wars.
hmm..feeling hungry
time to f.o
the main 2 days of festivities are over
and i'm now feeling emptiness within me
it's over
that's the problem.
what happens when something which you looked forward for,
waited for, hoped for, longed for, enjoyed for
has come and passed you by?
it basically means it's over doesn't it
which makes you question the wortiness of it all
whether the sweat, blood, tears heartache, perseverance is really worth
spending just for that one thing
which will eventually
be over?
maybe that's why i am the way i am
constantly thinking whether the motion of all that is really worth the extent
is what i always do.
but then again
thoughts can never be action thus never achieving a reaction.
i'm down with flu
but i'm recovering soon.
and tdy is sickening valentine's day
not that i'm a sour grape or what
but it sickens me to see the over commercialization of the death anniversary of Valentine. (now known as saint Valentine)
how many people actually know that
he was beheaded on the 14th of feb cos he defied the orders of Claudious II which were not to get married if not they would be wusses and stay home and not fight his wars.
hmm..feeling hungry
time to f.o
Thursday, February 10, 2005
constantine
my birthday was basically spent rotting at my uncle's place today (or rather yesterday)
seemed to me a waste of time but somehow i was either too lazy to jio my friends to hang out or a part of me just wanted to soak in the cny festival with the family.
well almost.
my aunt quarrelled with my other aunt cos my uncle did not want to go to her sister's place to show their faces for 1/2 hr
if u asked me, i quite agreed with my uncle..after all they ARE going to visit her sister tml
whatever. my mum asked me why didn't i flash my warrant at her when she was bickering with my aunt
my reason :i couldn't care less
my words "i would only do that if she started throwing things in teh house" were enough to justify my apathy
somehow, seeing so much arguments and shit in life has made me numb..really numb.
caught constantine with gerard his bro and sylvia tdy...
kinda funny cos at the strike of 12 i stopepd at the traffic ligh and wished hijm happy bday. he was 6 hrs later than me in reaching this goddamned earth. and like me
he doesn't know what's his purpose here. poor chap
constantine was sweet which made me think again (all movies somehow make me think)
this time i thought abt how he said there were half breeds which would goad and influence humans to do either good or bad and i was wondering , what if this were true? and all the people in my office were being goaded by halfbreeds? well to me even if it made sense the humans are idiots to me cos they can't even control their own minds...by letting themselves be influenced.
argh. there's just so many arguments.
Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember,
I'll always remember the sound of the tv,
the harshly mouthed words
and the slamming of the door shut
and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
and this day that we shared together.
and you stood at the door
with your hands on your waist
and you screamed like you meant it
and i knew, that you meant it
that you meant it, thet you meant it
and i knew, that you meant it
the you meant it.
feel like sleeping
shall stop bitching already
my birthday was basically spent rotting at my uncle's place today (or rather yesterday)
seemed to me a waste of time but somehow i was either too lazy to jio my friends to hang out or a part of me just wanted to soak in the cny festival with the family.
well almost.
my aunt quarrelled with my other aunt cos my uncle did not want to go to her sister's place to show their faces for 1/2 hr
if u asked me, i quite agreed with my uncle..after all they ARE going to visit her sister tml
whatever. my mum asked me why didn't i flash my warrant at her when she was bickering with my aunt
my reason :i couldn't care less
my words "i would only do that if she started throwing things in teh house" were enough to justify my apathy
somehow, seeing so much arguments and shit in life has made me numb..really numb.
caught constantine with gerard his bro and sylvia tdy...
kinda funny cos at the strike of 12 i stopepd at the traffic ligh and wished hijm happy bday. he was 6 hrs later than me in reaching this goddamned earth. and like me
he doesn't know what's his purpose here. poor chap
constantine was sweet which made me think again (all movies somehow make me think)
this time i thought abt how he said there were half breeds which would goad and influence humans to do either good or bad and i was wondering , what if this were true? and all the people in my office were being goaded by halfbreeds? well to me even if it made sense the humans are idiots to me cos they can't even control their own minds...by letting themselves be influenced.
argh. there's just so many arguments.
Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember,
I'll always remember the sound of the tv,
the harshly mouthed words
and the slamming of the door shut
and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
and this day that we shared together.
and you stood at the door
with your hands on your waist
and you screamed like you meant it
and i knew, that you meant it
that you meant it, thet you meant it
and i knew, that you meant it
the you meant it.
feel like sleeping
shall stop bitching already
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
genesis
and so today happens to be my birthday as well as cny 2005
i've been around here for 22 years now
still not knowing my real purpose here
sometimes i wonder what are we really working for
cutting each other down and competing just to get recognition, medals, money and fame, popularity, acceptance comedy and blame
when we take nothing back on the day we die.
we'd all be memories
and memories fade away
maybe it's passion
short spurts of interest
which keep us going everyday
and like the tides they ebb away
leaving us to wonder whether if it's really worth it
is there any point in all of this at all when the memory fades?
human memory is just a record.
we can erase that record.
and so today happens to be my birthday as well as cny 2005
i've been around here for 22 years now
still not knowing my real purpose here
sometimes i wonder what are we really working for
cutting each other down and competing just to get recognition, medals, money and fame, popularity, acceptance comedy and blame
when we take nothing back on the day we die.
we'd all be memories
and memories fade away
maybe it's passion
short spurts of interest
which keep us going everyday
and like the tides they ebb away
leaving us to wonder whether if it's really worth it
is there any point in all of this at all when the memory fades?
human memory is just a record.
we can erase that record.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
soft reboot
with so much to say ever since i last my last entry
laziness sinks in
a few things to note:
scuba is still lovely
i bought myself an ipod for my bday present
i got pissed off in office today
and my room smells of rubber which is coming from
the wetsuit i bought
i wonder how am i gooing to spend the remainder of the day...
or days so to speak
( i took leave until 14 feb which reminds me i still don't have a date for v-day)
cny is like a soft reboot to me (you know the type you do with CTRL-ALT-DEL)
unlike the new year NEW YEAR.
to me, it basically means lesser red packet money
and that i am ording soon.
soon is the word. not now.
it's still depresssing i know
to all the chinks out there....happy cliche new year
and the rest...enjoy the ba gua
with so much to say ever since i last my last entry
laziness sinks in
a few things to note:
scuba is still lovely
i bought myself an ipod for my bday present
i got pissed off in office today
and my room smells of rubber which is coming from
the wetsuit i bought
i wonder how am i gooing to spend the remainder of the day...
or days so to speak
( i took leave until 14 feb which reminds me i still don't have a date for v-day)
cny is like a soft reboot to me (you know the type you do with CTRL-ALT-DEL)
unlike the new year NEW YEAR.
to me, it basically means lesser red packet money
and that i am ording soon.
soon is the word. not now.
it's still depresssing i know
to all the chinks out there....happy cliche new year
and the rest...enjoy the ba gua
Sunday, January 30, 2005
scared of girls
i went for my first open water course yesterday. 1 full damn man imagine they crammed almost the whole bk of theory into one day. the feeling of being underwater was exhilirating...that few moments of peace away from the damn world was enough to keep me sane for 1 day.
....and what good news to hear that i was paired up with a girl! not that i am desperate or what but somehow i feel weird...not just because i don't know her and everyone else in my group (2 other guys from another dept were with me and i kinda forgot their names too..cos they weren't english names so next time you want me to remember you get yourself and english name) yeah. just plain weird. am i scared of girls? but i don't want to like guys. but fug there aren't many girls in my life right now.
maybe i'm sufferring from decompression sickness/nitrogen narcosis right now
but it is only when we are at our most in-sensible moments where true feeligns are let out.
i also did lots of stupid things during the practical man..stuff like losing balance in the water and not being able to swim straight. damn the fins...they were too big for me (ya ya blame the fins) but seriously, damn the fins. i bet her impression of me is "my buddy is a total idiot"
maybe i'm a little bit over my head
i come undone at the things she said
and she's so funny in her light grey suit
i was all in love and i got hurt
and maybe she'll remember me
what i gave her is hers to keep
in white houses
in white houses
(some people are going to kill me)
i went for my first open water course yesterday. 1 full damn man imagine they crammed almost the whole bk of theory into one day. the feeling of being underwater was exhilirating...that few moments of peace away from the damn world was enough to keep me sane for 1 day.
....and what good news to hear that i was paired up with a girl! not that i am desperate or what but somehow i feel weird...not just because i don't know her and everyone else in my group (2 other guys from another dept were with me and i kinda forgot their names too..cos they weren't english names so next time you want me to remember you get yourself and english name) yeah. just plain weird. am i scared of girls? but i don't want to like guys. but fug there aren't many girls in my life right now.
maybe i'm sufferring from decompression sickness/nitrogen narcosis right now
but it is only when we are at our most in-sensible moments where true feeligns are let out.
i also did lots of stupid things during the practical man..stuff like losing balance in the water and not being able to swim straight. damn the fins...they were too big for me (ya ya blame the fins) but seriously, damn the fins. i bet her impression of me is "my buddy is a total idiot"
maybe i'm a little bit over my head
i come undone at the things she said
and she's so funny in her light grey suit
i was all in love and i got hurt
and maybe she'll remember me
what i gave her is hers to keep
in white houses
in white houses
(some people are going to kill me)
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
till the end of time
after months of procrastination and negligence,i finally maneged to complete one of the RPG games which i have been playing half-way. and defeated the final boss within 5 mins too
i hated that game
cos of its stupid storyline infact i did not want to complete it but judging from thefact that i'm already in so deep i might as well go further into the depths of hell.
one thing struck me though:
without perception, there can never be existence
after months of procrastination and negligence,i finally maneged to complete one of the RPG games which i have been playing half-way. and defeated the final boss within 5 mins too
i hated that game
cos of its stupid storyline infact i did not want to complete it but judging from thefact that i'm already in so deep i might as well go further into the depths of hell.
one thing struck me though:
without perception, there can never be existence
Saturday, January 22, 2005
kenneth
so much has happened within 5 days.
went for scuba swimming test on monday and almost died cos i ate too much and kept vomitting in the pool HAHA. other than that i passed it. more scuba shit to come.
did i forget to mention that another of my friends has orded...on sunday as matter of fact. he's kenneth. the first person who spoke to me when i came into the cursed department. i still remember his exact words "hey...ke yi zou le leh ni hai deng se mo?". he was referring to every monday's RT or recreational training where we can leave work at 4pm instead of 5pm (at that era when it was still a 5.5 day work-week). over the weeks i got to know him better and realised that his character is somewhat like mine...dislike magic mats, never afraid to challenge authority and of course detest idiots. yam seng man. really enjoyed the times of xialaning and ninja-ing man. it's quite sad to see all of them leave one by one...but it also means i am going to gain nirvana too. 248 more days.
went clubbing last night with the newer kids. the music wasn't too gd last night which resulted in us leaving at the sacriligious hour of 2am. where got pple leave at 2am one... sampled a new drink called martini bianco 7-up.if you ask me, it tastes like some kinda spice for some kinda pasta. but it's nice though at first sip it tastes like shit. but as you slowly get used to the shit, the shit engulfs you, enfolds you till it becomes you.
shit becomes you.
maybe that's what life is about.
getting used to shit.
all of us in a little dark room
each trying to free his soul
love ever seeking
hearts ever breaking
when will we all realise
that everything looks perfect
cos we're in a
little dark room
so much has happened within 5 days.
went for scuba swimming test on monday and almost died cos i ate too much and kept vomitting in the pool HAHA. other than that i passed it. more scuba shit to come.
did i forget to mention that another of my friends has orded...on sunday as matter of fact. he's kenneth. the first person who spoke to me when i came into the cursed department. i still remember his exact words "hey...ke yi zou le leh ni hai deng se mo?". he was referring to every monday's RT or recreational training where we can leave work at 4pm instead of 5pm (at that era when it was still a 5.5 day work-week). over the weeks i got to know him better and realised that his character is somewhat like mine...dislike magic mats, never afraid to challenge authority and of course detest idiots. yam seng man. really enjoyed the times of xialaning and ninja-ing man. it's quite sad to see all of them leave one by one...but it also means i am going to gain nirvana too. 248 more days.
went clubbing last night with the newer kids. the music wasn't too gd last night which resulted in us leaving at the sacriligious hour of 2am. where got pple leave at 2am one... sampled a new drink called martini bianco 7-up.if you ask me, it tastes like some kinda spice for some kinda pasta. but it's nice though at first sip it tastes like shit. but as you slowly get used to the shit, the shit engulfs you, enfolds you till it becomes you.
shit becomes you.
maybe that's what life is about.
getting used to shit.
all of us in a little dark room
each trying to free his soul
love ever seeking
hearts ever breaking
when will we all realise
that everything looks perfect
cos we're in a
little dark room
Sunday, January 16, 2005
personification
just got back from a movie titled "my brother"
uncannily, one of the characters reminded me of me
the fiesty one though not deviod of parental love
oftentimes i would wonder to myself "why me"
why would so much shit and celestial suayness always had
to be inflicted onto me and not the other high-headed
self righteous knuckleheads who deserved it more
until in the midst of the show, i realised that
tough times are meant for tough people
if the both of us were drowning
who do you think Mum would save first?>
mum would go for me cos you are the one
who knows how to swim
alittle cheesy, alittle corny
not everyone chose to be born
not everyone chose to be looked down upon
to forgive someone because he cannot help it
is remarkable
but to forgive someone because he's an idiot
is godly.
and in the land of stone and thyme
we will walk on the tides of winds
knowing that not all was in vain
just got back from a movie titled "my brother"
uncannily, one of the characters reminded me of me
the fiesty one though not deviod of parental love
oftentimes i would wonder to myself "why me"
why would so much shit and celestial suayness always had
to be inflicted onto me and not the other high-headed
self righteous knuckleheads who deserved it more
until in the midst of the show, i realised that
tough times are meant for tough people
if the both of us were drowning
who do you think Mum would save first?>
mum would go for me cos you are the one
who knows how to swim
alittle cheesy, alittle corny
not everyone chose to be born
not everyone chose to be looked down upon
to forgive someone because he cannot help it
is remarkable
but to forgive someone because he's an idiot
is godly.
and in the land of stone and thyme
we will walk on the tides of winds
knowing that not all was in vain
Saturday, January 15, 2005
spaghetti
it's one of those nights again
where i'm at a total loss of what to do
overwhelmed, overkilled by thoughts afringing
there's just so many things to be done
and decided upon.
but there's just so many things which i am doing
so much that it's killing me
giving me lesser or no time to think of the other things to be done
thoughts - the fuel for my insomnia
spaghetti thoughts - yummy fuel for my insomnia
it's one of those nights again
where i'm at a total loss of what to do
overwhelmed, overkilled by thoughts afringing
there's just so many things to be done
and decided upon.
but there's just so many things which i am doing
so much that it's killing me
giving me lesser or no time to think of the other things to be done
thoughts - the fuel for my insomnia
spaghetti thoughts - yummy fuel for my insomnia
Friday, January 14, 2005
retreat
just got back from loyang
yes chalets.
the only places where memories are made
and leave us ever remiscing
this time round it was with my dept's NSMEN branch's retreat
and although i'm from PLANNING i somehow got invited
i feel so honoured
anyways it was good
to have that moment of rest within such an interim part of the year
but alas i'm going back to work tomorrow
back to the zoo they say
somehow being there made me value the importance of the female sex
not that i'm horny or something
it somehow feels gay to have all guys in the same chalet
playing soccer games and gambling and all
certainly not my kind of pastime
the company was nevertheless good.
Think of me, think of me waking,
silent and resigned.
Imagine me, trying too hard
to put you from my mind.
Recall those days,
look back on all those times,
think of the things we'll never do
there will never be a day,
when I won't think of you.
just got back from loyang
yes chalets.
the only places where memories are made
and leave us ever remiscing
this time round it was with my dept's NSMEN branch's retreat
and although i'm from PLANNING i somehow got invited
i feel so honoured
anyways it was good
to have that moment of rest within such an interim part of the year
but alas i'm going back to work tomorrow
back to the zoo they say
somehow being there made me value the importance of the female sex
not that i'm horny or something
it somehow feels gay to have all guys in the same chalet
playing soccer games and gambling and all
certainly not my kind of pastime
the company was nevertheless good.
Think of me, think of me waking,
silent and resigned.
Imagine me, trying too hard
to put you from my mind.
Recall those days,
look back on all those times,
think of the things we'll never do
there will never be a day,
when I won't think of you.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
unsettled
the days are getting stranger by the minute
just every day of every week is so damn different
people are nicer at a rate that scares me
and the stuff that happens is just..overwhelming
the end of the world is near
i took this quiz from sam's blog
seems trustable aha
Your dark side is centered around Death. Anger
running through your veins, your soul is
confused between staying or leaving in this
pointless world. All you want is an open
creative mind to go with your lifestyle, no
conditions or judges, just loyalty to each
other, so you can finally live your perfect
exicting world you always wanted, life will
worth something. You will find what you want
when you believe in something more valuable
then death and when you appreciate your life.
What is the center of your dark core? (updated)
brought to you by Quizilla
the days are getting stranger by the minute
just every day of every week is so damn different
people are nicer at a rate that scares me
and the stuff that happens is just..overwhelming
the end of the world is near
i took this quiz from sam's blog
seems trustable aha
Your dark side is centered around Death. Anger
running through your veins, your soul is
confused between staying or leaving in this
pointless world. All you want is an open
creative mind to go with your lifestyle, no
conditions or judges, just loyalty to each
other, so you can finally live your perfect
exicting world you always wanted, life will
worth something. You will find what you want
when you believe in something more valuable
then death and when you appreciate your life.
What is the center of your dark core? (updated)
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Monday, January 10, 2005
Friday, January 07, 2005
the opera in the phantom
just caught (the remake) the phantom of the opera today with my poly friends. surprisingly after the many years of book-reading and fairy tales i've never once delved into "the phantom of the opera".
i quite like the idea of the story
that ignorance to aid
will lead to anger.
the anger that could make love
something to kill for
after all, no one can blame Mr P for the xialan stuff which he did.
his work was but magnificient,unrecognised,unappreciated
a man devoid of love
is love devoid itself
because eventually, everything is emotional.
Take the boat, swear to me, never to tell. The secret you know, of the Angel in Hell.
just caught (the remake) the phantom of the opera today with my poly friends. surprisingly after the many years of book-reading and fairy tales i've never once delved into "the phantom of the opera".
i quite like the idea of the story
that ignorance to aid
will lead to anger.
the anger that could make love
something to kill for
after all, no one can blame Mr P for the xialan stuff which he did.
his work was but magnificient,unrecognised,unappreciated
a man devoid of love
is love devoid itself
because eventually, everything is emotional.
Take the boat, swear to me, never to tell. The secret you know, of the Angel in Hell.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
rain
this time i really screwed myself bad. i took a nap at 10pm earlier on only to wake up at 12am and now i can't get back to sleep. a time for self reflection perhaps? greatly apt. cos to add to the moment i can hear the soothing patter of the morning rain right outside my window admist the droning of the mistral fan
shut it off
it's not surprising that i'm still in such a disorganised state on the 5th day of the new year. so far things have been looking up considering the amount of shit that i had to face and how i handled it... great achievement indeed johnny, why don't you run along to 7-11 and buy yourself a chupa chup
i chanced upon
this empty night
thoughts embodying
the fervant mind
wandering through
the smouldered forest
unable to find
the One i've lost
born into confusion
in oblivion i grew
in reality
i simply stumbled
in pursuitof Sanity
beyond every moment
till the end of time
my mind is so full of thoughts and lists now so much so that i feel i'm going to have an anuerysm
indeed without passion, we would all be truly dead.
this time i really screwed myself bad. i took a nap at 10pm earlier on only to wake up at 12am and now i can't get back to sleep. a time for self reflection perhaps? greatly apt. cos to add to the moment i can hear the soothing patter of the morning rain right outside my window admist the droning of the mistral fan
shut it off
it's not surprising that i'm still in such a disorganised state on the 5th day of the new year. so far things have been looking up considering the amount of shit that i had to face and how i handled it... great achievement indeed johnny, why don't you run along to 7-11 and buy yourself a chupa chup
i chanced upon
this empty night
thoughts embodying
the fervant mind
wandering through
the smouldered forest
unable to find
the One i've lost
born into confusion
in oblivion i grew
in reality
i simply stumbled
in pursuitof Sanity
beyond every moment
till the end of time
my mind is so full of thoughts and lists now so much so that i feel i'm going to have an anuerysm
indeed without passion, we would all be truly dead.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
bewildered
as i was sitting in the usual corner seat of my bus on the way back today
a scrawny guy sat down next to me on my left
and then a girl
the most surprising thing (well in teh asian context) happened
the girl suddenly struck up a conversation with the guy
the guy obviously was stupified cos firstly, no one does that in singapore
and secondly, she was quite a chick
amusing i must say
i had to pretend to be asleep and laugh to myself LOL.
oh they were talking abt jc orientation
kids.
now i just posted crap.
as i was sitting in the usual corner seat of my bus on the way back today
a scrawny guy sat down next to me on my left
and then a girl
the most surprising thing (well in teh asian context) happened
the girl suddenly struck up a conversation with the guy
the guy obviously was stupified cos firstly, no one does that in singapore
and secondly, she was quite a chick
amusing i must say
i had to pretend to be asleep and laugh to myself LOL.
oh they were talking abt jc orientation
kids.
now i just posted crap.
Monday, January 03, 2005
Saturday, January 01, 2005
2005
just got back from cozy bay and then bedok 85 with justin and ah pek and another friend of his who wanted to tell me more about UNSW. Seems like almost everyone who has gone to australia to study is in UNSW. strange indeed. sylvie came to join us a little later and the usual talk cock session began. apparently she knows ahpek's friend and vice versa. small world indeed. which if why one of my new year's resolutions is to be nice to everyone. 2004 ended with rain. it's really silly the way i counted down....luckily for me my backup plan worked although the moment i reached the indoor stadium's carpark, opened my driver seat door and put my right foot down i heard "1..HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!" i missed the moment, yet embraced it who knows what thaty meant for the rest of the year...
a new time a new mind
a new moment in
the same land of mine
will i be filled with sorrow
joy or despair
in such an era
of uncertain affairs
i wish for strength
courage and mind
to help me go through
life's issues of slime
just got back from cozy bay and then bedok 85 with justin and ah pek and another friend of his who wanted to tell me more about UNSW. Seems like almost everyone who has gone to australia to study is in UNSW. strange indeed. sylvie came to join us a little later and the usual talk cock session began. apparently she knows ahpek's friend and vice versa. small world indeed. which if why one of my new year's resolutions is to be nice to everyone. 2004 ended with rain. it's really silly the way i counted down....luckily for me my backup plan worked although the moment i reached the indoor stadium's carpark, opened my driver seat door and put my right foot down i heard "1..HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!" i missed the moment, yet embraced it who knows what thaty meant for the rest of the year...
a new time a new mind
a new moment in
the same land of mine
will i be filled with sorrow
joy or despair
in such an era
of uncertain affairs
i wish for strength
courage and mind
to help me go through
life's issues of slime
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