morning night

i hate the day today. was woken up at 7.30am by my dad and blinded by the sun
i wonder when my dad would fix the damn venetian blinds.
i feel so damn sleepy now. thankfully it's friday and i'll only have to work for haf a day tomorrow. act. i don't .
i just figured that tomorrow's salary is easy money.
amias will be gone for 4 days and i'll be all alone in the world of ffx with no one to seek advice from
in a way it's cool as my companion has always been loneliness

jaded

i've just to fic again. i've decided to fic regulary from now on now that i have a not-so-impressively-funcational website and blog, I still have to get my butt on the comment system thingy. there's just so much shit to do...but no time to do it.damn. holidays were usually taken granted by me but now that i am working, time is just so precious. i have barely time to do my own stuff--johnny's stuff. also been in pms mode recently i don't know why also. it's all about everything: friends, family, love,hate,disappointment,false hope,delusions,fantasies,dreams,horror and bitter reality. it's all about the world,people,goo vs evil , morals,obligations etc.
i hate this earth. i hate this world.
seriously.
i think i am sufferring from mood swings.
spat.

peace

sitting right here in a half empty office,
i can't help but feel at peace.
this temporal solace i so wanted to have
will be in no time shattered
when everyone comes back from lunch.....

i've got an hour and a half before i look up my supervisor
and boy am i bored
after finishing a few servlets
i can't help but feel slack
after all, i've earned them.

nie's a wonderful place
sadly it's so far away from home
the view from here is quite cool to hate too
anyway...it's time to stop crapping.

where is your peace today?

famous last words

she thought everything was ok
when she turned and walked away
"i'll be fine" was the stereotyped consolation which she received
but in reality
he was not

"it's ok, it's alright, i'm for anything"
blared his famous words everytime
they needed to be known to her

she continued day after day
and he time after time
knowing that true love would allow
for such as these

his body lay cold
invisibly shivering
the life in it has lost meaning
bloodstains and valium accompanied it
not forgetting the dame it so much befit

"it's ok, it's alright, i'm for anything"
the words a-ringing in her ears
negligence is accompanied by a heavy price
even men will be reduced to mice

she thought everything was ok
when she turned towards and walk away
"i'll be fine" was the stereotyped consolation which she received
but in reality
he was not

throbbing pain

had a nip by a shrew
light years before morning dew
mindless people walk me by
oblivious to my silent cry

evil begets evil in this time of day
benovelance is considered hay
why does pain and suffering exist
when the slashing and killing still persists

heartless minds and mindless hearts
always fail to make me start
sin is a common sight to me
my pious joy it tries to rob

in my midst of pain and
hour of disdain
the throbbing pain
it grants me solace

somehow or other
something clicked.