joan of arc
she was so sweet, demure
that by just looking at her
i felt myself melting away in a flurry of euphoria
the words could not flow as freely as they should
just in the her presence
and so i took a walk
into the night into endless
space when finally i reached my goal
a book, so greatly coveted
but it could never replace the being
whom i met earlier a few hours ago.
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
national service. 1 year more to go
exactly at the stroke of midnight, this fair night, one year from this date
i would have officially ended my slavery to the nation. the sacred 3-letter word which is so coveted by every male in this country
looking back, i've already done 14 months of service , with the first 5 mths in the academy and the remainder still counting in a department called PNSD. it seemed so slow when i was in the academy but yet so fast when i was posted in PNSD. so much so that i've alreeady spent at least 9 months there. of course, anyone who have been through so much would say that "time flies" when actually it has always been constant.
i do not deny that i have a better NS life than those people in the SAF. just because it isn't so physically taxing in the police force. and i do not deny that i am blessed with the priviledge of staying out every night thus having a "normal" working-like life. but it has its downsides too and some of them inclue having lower pay as i do not have operational allowance and i spend more than the guys in green. but i guess that's what the rule of conservation is here for. I did not choose my path in NS. CMPB did.
this world is unfair, yet it is able to do justice at certain times.
and so here i am, 21 years on, 14 mths into ns. The days will continue to be long, yet short, more shit to be expected, more scoldings and more lessons to be learnt. at the end of the day, it will be my entitlement to say "ORD LOH!" to all the newbies who have yet to leave the service. and continue on with my dysfunctional life. would i grow stronger then? or be more corrupted in values? would i gain anything from it all?
i have exactly 365 days to find out.
exactly at the stroke of midnight, this fair night, one year from this date
i would have officially ended my slavery to the nation. the sacred 3-letter word which is so coveted by every male in this country
looking back, i've already done 14 months of service , with the first 5 mths in the academy and the remainder still counting in a department called PNSD. it seemed so slow when i was in the academy but yet so fast when i was posted in PNSD. so much so that i've alreeady spent at least 9 months there. of course, anyone who have been through so much would say that "time flies" when actually it has always been constant.
i do not deny that i have a better NS life than those people in the SAF. just because it isn't so physically taxing in the police force. and i do not deny that i am blessed with the priviledge of staying out every night thus having a "normal" working-like life. but it has its downsides too and some of them inclue having lower pay as i do not have operational allowance and i spend more than the guys in green. but i guess that's what the rule of conservation is here for. I did not choose my path in NS. CMPB did.
this world is unfair, yet it is able to do justice at certain times.
and so here i am, 21 years on, 14 mths into ns. The days will continue to be long, yet short, more shit to be expected, more scoldings and more lessons to be learnt. at the end of the day, it will be my entitlement to say "ORD LOH!" to all the newbies who have yet to leave the service. and continue on with my dysfunctional life. would i grow stronger then? or be more corrupted in values? would i gain anything from it all?
i have exactly 365 days to find out.
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