emotional inebriations

once again, another night is wasted
what was perceived was not performed
what was desired, was not fufilledrt
i'm so tired of Hope

hope that is comforting
hope that is false

fatigue in planning things and seeing them as
dreams is catching up on me
am i being too sensitive or am i being too nice
a friend has left the clique
only to see it dying
right now gatherings are often unspoken tales
perceived in the mind
fruitful equivalence to air

friends come and go
lovers meet and part

love and hate
pain and comfort
are they as important as life itself
for the very taking

another emo night
another futile fight
another angel departs
another mortal's dis-heart

when will the dream end

again it goes unnoticed


So quiet another wasted night, the television
steals the conversation exhale, another wasted
breath, again it goes unnoticed.

Please tell me you're just feeling tired
cause if it's more than that I feel that I might break out of touch,
out of time. Please send me anything but signals that are mixed
cause I can't read your rolling eyes out of touch,
are we out of time?

Close lipped another goodnight kiss is robbed of all it's passion,
your grip another time, is slack it leaves me feeling empty.

I'll wait until tomorrow
maybe you'll feel better then
maybe we'll be better then
so what's another day when I can't bear these nights of thoughts
of going on without you this mood of yours is temporary
it seems worth the wait to see your smile again
out of the corner of your eye wont be the only way
you'll look at me then.

anima

another day, another life,another time without a wife
always assumming the worst
i've been living in a hearse
negative things breed negative thoughts
which never often should be sought

so many restrictions
so little transparency
mounting to invisible discrepancies

a life to be happy
a life to be free
all i'm living
is a life to be history

how long will this last
this immortal pain
the agony the torture
this mindless enclosure

silent ramblings are of no use
silent grief breaks the heart
but the only thing breaking is my heart
it weeps it bleeds for its wounds are endless

it weeps it bleeds it bleedeth for thee

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sleepless

it's 4.30 in the morning, exactly 2.5 hours after i last put myself to bed
the fact that there is church service tomorrow doesn't seem to help
at all.
not at all.

if i don't wake up on time for church in 5 hours to come
my parents would start bitching.
i wonder if they know that a person who goes to church regularly
may not necessarily be considered a christian
neither is one who doesn't.
to me, personally christianity is a relationship, not a religion
and attending chuch or not doesn't really reflect on your holiness
or image as the worldy termed "christian"
many would term me strange or call me blasphemous
but i don't really care
trust me, a guy who's trying to sleep but unable to is writing here.

right now it's as if i'm living in a waking dream
engaging in activities so important yet so meaningless
writing this entry is one of them
i wonder if EMO has to do with any of this
but no. i am EMO. this may sound cheesy i know.

i've gotten in and out of my bed 5 times already
when will i be able to sleep
this is another one of those days where
sleep tortures me.