waking up.

referring to my previous post; after sitting at my desk for approximately 15 minutes.

i think i have to fucking wake up my idea right now.

so much have been said
so little done.
the price has been paid
but nothing's been won.

somehow or other i don't know why the hell am i so restless.
maybe the lights went out after the first 3 months
maybe i saw the aimlessness of it all
but why did i hold on? and continue to do so
for love for hope for glory or soul
either one i have not behold.

without passion we would all truly be dead.
but can we force passion to revive
like a pheonix in the sky
arising from its ashes?
an optimist always looks at the pheonix in that majestic light
but have they ever wondered that it has been cursed with the process
of repetition.
dying and arising till the end of time

the emerald dream

its been yet a while since i last updated my blog.
somehow blogging seems to have lost all meaning to me
penning down ponders and bitching seems to have taken its toll on my
yet already demented mind
May is finally here and hell, its 5 months more till my thesis submission
And i have done jack squat
well done johnny
although somehow there is this voice in me which tells me that
everything would be alright in the end
i somehow sense that deep shit will come flooding my way.
deadline after deadline seems to pass me by
which moron told me that "as a postgraduate you will never have to chase deadlines"
he probably majored in marketing i guess.
am i in oblivion
or have i gone numb