complicated

i long for the
warmth of days gone by
where innocence was still a virtue
and lies were considered sacriligeous


lately apathy has sunken into me, not that it wasn't already resident in me.
there're so many movies/anime/tv drama episodes for me to clear. so much that i have no time. not forgetting the many things i have yet to learn which i have used the phrase "not enough time" as an excuse to procrastinate.

the things we possess will ultimately possess us all.

maybe i should just close my eyes, highlight all the files and hit shift+delete followed by a space? or close my eyes and smash the com?
why close my eyes?
the heartache would still be there. it doesn't help in anything

we do so many things, write up SOPs and instructions on how to do certain things on the pretext of "for smoother transmission", "for proper channelling", "for ease of pain", "fo convenience"; basically "for the better". when actually everything can be cut down and simplified into a single step.

which reminds me...the bitchlorette just sent me an email telling me to minimise on the word "fuck" in my conversations with the peeps when obviously the person who was saying "fuck" in all previous message history wasn't me.

is "fuck" that really bad a word? if so, why would it be in a dictionary.
it's useful. that's why it's in the dictionary.

maybe that's why we live in a complicated world.

one day technology will burn itself out

winter's warm and summer's cold.
it's raining here almost everyday.
how i wish hail would just fall and
kill everyone else.

home

you tell me that i'm home
but why, why don't i ever feel it
like a fish out of living water
ice in the fire

and love dances on our minds
and we fall into each other's eyes
time passes us by

talking at starbucks
over coffee and a biscotti
and that was when; when
you made me feel human
part of this universe

slamming; slamming down the receiver
is it over; our little adventure
and now; bottle of merlot later
i feel so much sober
its like runing through the rain

you tell me that i'm home
buy why, why don't i ever feel it
were the higher powers having fun
making love a big great pun

got to the heart of the matter
and lingered
problems unsolved, feelings dwindled
shouldn't have let go, persisted
and now, now's a case of tristan and isolde
the settling of a story

you tell me that i'm home
and now; i feel the pain of silence
biting into my selfless state of mind
and home feels cold indeed.

understand this is a dream

so quiet. another wasted night.
winamp steals the conversation
i can't believe i sprained my back
for the first time in my life. must be getting old. anyway 2 days of mc was nice
the only regret i had was not taking leave for friday.
if i did, i would literally not be working for one week.
been playing star ocean : till the end of time lately
nice game but full of shit cos their maps are horrendous

just got back from a failed attempt to enter phuture
watched some thai horror movie called "shutter" instead.
predictable yet intriguing
my adidas watch is going crazy. the time keeps on jumping towards the future
maybe my time is up?

there's just so many things that i wanna do
but can't find the time to
we are all in love
and we all got hurt

mind in death in mind

the universe looks down on june
every night, every hour
the only thing that looks back at it
her lifeless soul within her eyes
she looks so pretty in her bloodstained dress
like pinot noir in the old winepress
but it served well
it served well

across the ocean tim's body lies
full of maggots and squatter flies
malnutrition and mercury
the culprits of his misery

amber hangs upon a tree
her broken neck her spirit free
she looks so peaceful and oh so sweet
who'd have known about this heartless deed

three tragic deaths on the
very same day
what could be said
come what may
that life's as short as a butterfly's
colourful flippity and after awhile
it dies