......
I"M SO DAMN SICK OF THIS PLACE!
it's been less than 24 hrs since i came home and the people from office are already hounding me
FUCK MAN
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Monday, June 13, 2005
perhentian
in a much better mood now. for those who don't know, i've returned from my p.perhentian diving trip. officially and advanced diver now although i can only dive up to 30ft before my sinus starts bleeding and i attract sharks.
it's disappointing, to know that i have such a low threshold as 30ft when it comes to diving. it's as good as telling me i will never be able to dive again. sadness.
anyway the trip was bittersweet. though more bitter than sweet. first, the fake tix and then the disappointment of the island being so bloody overcommercialised. really peeved t the fact that the island was dotted with resorts, leaving it barren and no longer emotionally rustic. fuck. tioman was better. probably the most comforting thing was that the dives were fun sans the bleeding whenever i cam up after the deep dives. my dive buddy was cool too though we kept messing eacher other's dives up. hah we kept on floating to the surface when our tanks were empty but oh well.
perhaps the best dive for me was the night dive; where i experienced the abyss of darkness. somehow, i felt safe down there at 30 feet. me and my buddy and the rest of the clowns with darkness engulfing us. it somehow formed a blanket of protection; leaving me safely away from the exposure of the world. but alas it only lasted 40 minutes. saw a giant sea turtle; it was very docile, being so graceful and not afraid of us all, a sturgeon, puffer fishes and a few schools of barracudas.
the journey back was somehow fucked up,think "ghost reporting" but one which left me with deep impressions. we couldn't board the bus cos of the fake tix and so we had to wait. while waiting we got to mingle around and joke and shit like that, thus knowing the guys better. and when the bus came. it was a fucking haunted one. with me and another friend being disturbed. no wonderbus driver told us to move to the front during the beginning of the trip. shan't elaborate more cos i'm still pissed over the incident.
somehow, this trip has left me feeling really weird. now that i'm back, i don't really know what to do. events of the trip somehow relentlessly flash back in my mind, leaving me to pine for the time gone by. fark. i've fallen prey to my own ideology:
what good are happy memories if they leave you sad and pining after you think of them
am i that really that afraid of returning to Singapore?
does this land and its people terrorize me so much?
who am i
and where do i come from
in a much better mood now. for those who don't know, i've returned from my p.perhentian diving trip. officially and advanced diver now although i can only dive up to 30ft before my sinus starts bleeding and i attract sharks.
it's disappointing, to know that i have such a low threshold as 30ft when it comes to diving. it's as good as telling me i will never be able to dive again. sadness.
anyway the trip was bittersweet. though more bitter than sweet. first, the fake tix and then the disappointment of the island being so bloody overcommercialised. really peeved t the fact that the island was dotted with resorts, leaving it barren and no longer emotionally rustic. fuck. tioman was better. probably the most comforting thing was that the dives were fun sans the bleeding whenever i cam up after the deep dives. my dive buddy was cool too though we kept messing eacher other's dives up. hah we kept on floating to the surface when our tanks were empty but oh well.
perhaps the best dive for me was the night dive; where i experienced the abyss of darkness. somehow, i felt safe down there at 30 feet. me and my buddy and the rest of the clowns with darkness engulfing us. it somehow formed a blanket of protection; leaving me safely away from the exposure of the world. but alas it only lasted 40 minutes. saw a giant sea turtle; it was very docile, being so graceful and not afraid of us all, a sturgeon, puffer fishes and a few schools of barracudas.
the journey back was somehow fucked up,think "ghost reporting" but one which left me with deep impressions. we couldn't board the bus cos of the fake tix and so we had to wait. while waiting we got to mingle around and joke and shit like that, thus knowing the guys better. and when the bus came. it was a fucking haunted one. with me and another friend being disturbed. no wonderbus driver told us to move to the front during the beginning of the trip. shan't elaborate more cos i'm still pissed over the incident.
somehow, this trip has left me feeling really weird. now that i'm back, i don't really know what to do. events of the trip somehow relentlessly flash back in my mind, leaving me to pine for the time gone by. fark. i've fallen prey to my own ideology:
what good are happy memories if they leave you sad and pining after you think of them
am i that really that afraid of returning to Singapore?
does this land and its people terrorize me so much?
who am i
and where do i come from
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