the price of being nice

it's a shitty day today. i kinda got "caught" for "cheating" in a sacred open book test just cos i told my classmate to "flip to unit 2". looking back in hindsight that was a super spastic thing to do since i already knew that it wasn't worth helping others anymore in this world cos the more you offer your help, the more you would be exploited. How could i forget that?!. i'm such an idiot. looked through my past entries and realised that my whole freaking blog is full of sad morbid and cynical writings. i probably blog when i'm having such feelings i guess...but all the time almost everyday? i think i'm super bitchy for a guy. riiiiiight. ARGH LIFE'S A BITCH AND THEN YOU DIE

but,

when you walk away you don't hear me say please oh baby don't go simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight
it isn't hard to let it go for human memory is just a record and we can rewrite it the daily things that keep us busy which end up being nothing ultimately are confusing me about the very existence of life itself why the world works this way of malice and selfishness and greed and lust it's giving me too many things lately so much that i would break anything which has a nice crashing sound i wish i could prove to you that i'm able to love you but some things are so hard to say and if such words would make your day i would say i love you but does that mean i have to walk on water i hope you understand that when you're older some things are simple some things are complicated but what is deemed complicated is never simple when we think too hard whatever lies this morning regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all nothing's like before for the tide has changed.

AAAAAGHHHHHHH

after a crazy week of j2me programming i finally threw in the towel
yesterday yesterday yesterday
which was actually friday
i'm supposed to hand in another assignment later today

it doesn't end here though

more tests and agony will be coming my way soon
and all i can do is embrace it
well at least there's a break in my stereo-typed routine nowadays

the tide has changed.

it's funny how the person you can hold a the best conversation with
only appears to you when he's unavailable and going away
pinch me

the tide has changed.