for even in pain we can sleep
slowly but gently
my body is breaking down
one by one by one by one
the pain in my head hurts so much
so much so that i think i'm going to die of an aneurysm
it's throbbing my senses away
i've lost complete knowledge of time
of this hidden reality so forged by my prison
stomach wrenching contortions
greet me every ungodly hour
them pain is so great
that it is almost so soothing
what have i done
where did i go
to have such pleasures
so generously bestowed on me
Est Sularus oth Mithas
Saturday, October 09, 2004
Friday, October 08, 2004
i cannot take this anymore
sometimes i feel that i don't know myself anymore
i play the saint in front of others when i'm actually the
devil incarnate. (as in the case of pushing work not withn my job-scope away to others) but that's the way this world works doesn't it?
full of pretence, sweet nothings and empty promises
but somehow a part of me says "you can't do this",
"it's just so wrong", "stop being a hypocrite"
hypocrisy is relative now
and so does goodwill
but sometimes i just want to break free of it all...and get hurt in the process?
fuckit.
is there any redemption in all of this?
maybe someday there will be
maybe not.
whatever it is, screw the whole lot
we used to share and care for one another when we were young
remember the days in pri/sec school?
but once we're out we build a wall
and undercut each other to reach our own goals.
life wasn't meant to be this way does it?
but then again, even in a world of perfection
we still fall
as in the case of adam and eve.
so where is the love where is the happiness
the joy we all thirst
true poetry was written by a powerful drunk.
sometimes i feel that i don't know myself anymore
i play the saint in front of others when i'm actually the
devil incarnate. (as in the case of pushing work not withn my job-scope away to others) but that's the way this world works doesn't it?
full of pretence, sweet nothings and empty promises
but somehow a part of me says "you can't do this",
"it's just so wrong", "stop being a hypocrite"
hypocrisy is relative now
and so does goodwill
but sometimes i just want to break free of it all...and get hurt in the process?
fuckit.
is there any redemption in all of this?
maybe someday there will be
maybe not.
whatever it is, screw the whole lot
we used to share and care for one another when we were young
remember the days in pri/sec school?
but once we're out we build a wall
and undercut each other to reach our own goals.
life wasn't meant to be this way does it?
but then again, even in a world of perfection
we still fall
as in the case of adam and eve.
so where is the love where is the happiness
the joy we all thirst
true poetry was written by a powerful drunk.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
silent drive
incessant footsteps follow me
throughout the night througout all time
concrete walls enfold me
in the darkness of night
in the silence of the surroundings
what lies ahead is nothing but space
sacred space so indefinetly full
of the harshness of solitude
in it i find true joy
to bask in the moonlight
of a western sky
gasping of breath could be heard below me
the footsteps become harder
the running stops
and i stand alone in silent glee.
incessant footsteps follow me
throughout the night througout all time
concrete walls enfold me
in the darkness of night
in the silence of the surroundings
what lies ahead is nothing but space
sacred space so indefinetly full
of the harshness of solitude
in it i find true joy
to bask in the moonlight
of a western sky
gasping of breath could be heard below me
the footsteps become harder
the running stops
and i stand alone in silent glee.
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