sleepless

it's 4.30 in the morning, exactly 2.5 hours after i last put myself to bed
the fact that there is church service tomorrow doesn't seem to help
at all.
not at all.

if i don't wake up on time for church in 5 hours to come
my parents would start bitching.
i wonder if they know that a person who goes to church regularly
may not necessarily be considered a christian
neither is one who doesn't.
to me, personally christianity is a relationship, not a religion
and attending chuch or not doesn't really reflect on your holiness
or image as the worldy termed "christian"
many would term me strange or call me blasphemous
but i don't really care
trust me, a guy who's trying to sleep but unable to is writing here.

right now it's as if i'm living in a waking dream
engaging in activities so important yet so meaningless
writing this entry is one of them
i wonder if EMO has to do with any of this
but no. i am EMO. this may sound cheesy i know.

i've gotten in and out of my bed 5 times already
when will i be able to sleep
this is another one of those days where
sleep tortures me.