crap entry 1

this was written by my friend and together with him we shall spin the tale of the century

Karkait bought toto last week and striked $1million
So he bought a cool blue skyline and drove it to orchard. Karkiat looking as handsome as ever drew the attention of the chiobu.this chiobu drives a porsche boxster and thought she can outrun my skyline. So so ... she gave me that look )-Tsk low class jap car-( and ramp her engine.... broom broom BBROOM... I gave her a allan toh look and broom broom also. So the last mat skater cheong past the traffic light(the one right ouside the conical borders building and there goes.... She was fast!! real fast.. .think she floor. Ha! but i mod my skyline engine earlier... have changed it to the prototype proton wadja babi engine earlier at johor and pumped my tyres with nooze... the mats told me they make ur car go faster... And Vrrroroooommm... My speedo meter reached a shocking 70 km/h ... nv have i pushed this beast so far. Well well... girls been girls will nv catch up. So i lead her all the way to east coast carpark K ... she tailing behind me... hot on my twin exhaust. tskk..drove to a dead end and she got out of the boxster! ... Its Xiaxue!!! my idol... She took off the bun on the hair and ..............

I woke up.... the traffic light just turned green... Vroomm.... my fateful L300.. cruising my way through geylang serai
to buy the famous ketupat which yummy king so fervently advertised saying that whoever eats it would strike toto./4d
apparently it doesn't work cos i still see so many puny mortals queuing up at singapore pools and turf club outlets dotting the island marking their bets on high class hell money. this is high class hell money cos you don't have to burn it to get it to hell you just mark it and feed it through the high tech machine and your money would go straight to hell...talk about the advancements of technology nowadays.

i arrived at the stall.. wet with perspiration as my cool L300's air-conditioning was spoilt. i placed my order for the ketupat but the aunty was too busy to even look at me. Feeling rejected i went to eat macdonalds instead. Over at macdonalds i decided that i needed to pee so i went into the toilet and saw this old uncle peeing at the urinal . the problem is he was peeing through his pants and being PGO and all that i asked him "uncle...y are you peeing in your pants? " the uncle looked at me witht he classic lao ren chi dai zheng look and said he had struck toto 1 million and suddenly he swung around to face me.. well done..now i ahve his pee on my legs. i threatened to beat him up by grabbing him with the Undertaker stance in WWE and out of fear he said " dun send me to the old folk's home i got money money i give u money!" and began stuffing SGD notes by the wads into my pocket. I humble accepted the moneyt and walked out of macdonalds, pee-stained feet and all to the bank.

totalling up the money at the bank, i realised that the senile ah pek had given me $400,000k in total..what a mad shit...and so i decided to get a car for myself since the l300 was torturing me. I went to the net and bought the toyata silly car (celica) for 50k on yahoo! auctions.
the car was driven to me by the afternoon by a cool ahbeng which had "Jin Zhong Bao Guo" tatooed on his back..and lots of coloursful cartoon characters on his body. He accepted the money and i began speeding off in my secondly-new celica.

after awhile i decided that singapore was boring and so i went across the bridge to the island nearer to hell and decided to test the top speed of the car there. I started off at the NS highway and managed to bring it up to 220km/h. i tell u it's like flying life seems to flash past u as all the slowmos just disappear from your rear view mirror as if they were vapourised. soon.. i got bored and settled down at the roadside sarabat stall and ordered teh tarik from the the friendly mat brudder over there. as i was about to leave for temasek a local policeman there walked up to me and said that i was caught speeding on my way here..feeling pissed by his evil aura i just paid him the price along with the additional 100 bucks for him to clear the roads for my entourage back home.

i arrived home safetly at 10pm just in time to see lana lang in smallville. it has been a cool to hate day.









what a load of crap.