red sky in the morning

reminiscing the days gone by
of what was left as another life
i can't help but stare
in broken expectation
of what tomorrow would bring
the essence of the night has just been born
the depth of its serenity i so much yearn for
bathing in the moonlight, singing a song
just waiting for the daylight never to come
let me not fade away in this stardust moment
for right now the pain of everything just
disappears
everyhing's so perfect, i see vanilla skies
but all for a moment in ever-changing time

with nights like these
all of us would be Gods in our own eyes
with nights like these
there would be no pain
with nights like these
i will forever dwell in the wings of Comfort
until the day i die

with nights like these
i will never die

the world is you

wouldn't you like to take some time
feel yourself completely
breathing out the soul that you keep inside
wouldn't yuou like to make them smile
show them you're a wonder
offer them the world and the world is you

wouldn't you like a second chance
use what you've been given
prove it to us all that there is one more dance
wouldn't you like to see a change
show us we can make one
offer us the world and the world is you

i will never side facing us the wrong way
spending lifetimes searching for you beyond the skies
the feeling keeps you from believing
and the one thing some of us were born to hide
a greatness lives within your reaches
and the hope is maybe when you lie to sleep
you'll be looking forward to the morning
and the mirror waking to the face of noon

envy

it's been days since i last bitched and thus i decided to do an entry since so many things have happened since my last entry.

let's see...i was over at toa payoh stadium helping out with some real run shit...at first i thought the organisers were really organised..till they decided to keep me entertained by refiling 1500 over entries of registration forms and photocopied I/Cs...well i later found out that they need not do it today so i guess the person who told me to do it was either stupid, or he was a mistake in life...or both.
i guess he was both.

just got back from a wedding dinner at the marriot. the event was surreal, and quite a unique one in a sense that the married couple invited other couples to come onto the dance floor to dance...(so much that it became a D&D instead of a "strictly wedding dinner" affair

hah this i got to mention. I HATE TAXI DRIVERS. while on my way to the wedding i got into a minor accident with one taxi driver though it was partly my fault. the best part is that there was no damage and i got to scold the taxi driver to hell. from today onwards i will get my hand ready on my horn whenever i see a taxi...they are only useful to me when i need to get home fast (which is rarely the case).

somehow..a part of me is envying the people around me...which leads me to become even more apathetic towards everything

w-h-y?--the mother of all questions
the birth of new reactions
leading to another quantity of rage inside of me

locked out

something stupid just happened about an hour ago
i got locked out of my damn room!
wtf man
verdict : my bloody door knob was faulty (maybe cos' i slam the door alot) and thus the faulty lock. wasted 50 buckeroos for getting the locksmith to open my door
fucked up.

i don't expect things to get better.

intruder.



today was an uneventful day at office
but things started to pick up after office hours cos
1. i managed to hack the xbox to enhance the playability and functions of my xbox
2. i managed to get my much needed rest at home
3. i killed a lizard which just irritated me by shitting right in front of me at the table when i was drinking water.

tml shall be spent at SPANS doing sai kang
why did i choose to do it then?

simple. cos i can earn hours

i'm a mercenary remember.

national shit...one year on

just got back from centro after a night of clubbing
sad to say their R&B mix wasn't customised to my liking
nevertheless i did have fun there
sluts still exist since the last time i went clubbing..even those who dress so skimpily to exhibit their well fed bodies

i'm on leave today
reasons being
1. i just got back from clubbing and it is 3.27am
2. i don't feel like working later
3. my annual leave of 14 days will be reset today leaving me with 21 days of leave in total + the hours
4. it has been one year since i was enlisted and given this pathetic life

i can't wait for Sep 28, 2004

obscure expression

when i went to work this morning
i expected some shit to happen after the long break from office
and how true was i indeed

it's either i am really stupid
or a certain someone isn't able to express himself well enough for me to understand what he wants

i'm tired of this life
of doing things for others as if i'm obliged to
of being used by so many people as if i'm a whore
of just being in my chair waiting for problems to come to me expecting to be solved

there must be some point in time when this shit has to end
and after analysing, reflecting and discussing it with myself,
Conscience and i decided that

it is the day i ORD.

plain morning

it's been awhile since i last did this another week's passed with little effort spent in exhausting it. met up witha  few old friends at a party last night and although i left pissed the company i had there broke it even. will be having an exam tomorrow and a pay rise after that.  

its funny how things have turned out this way
a little freaky though
to see all my friends ending up as family

sadness
finally brought myself to finish watching the remaining episodes of The O.C (from where i left off) sadly, season 1 ended off with a sad note with ryan (the main lead) going back to his shitty hometown justr because he's ex-girlfriend whom he had sex with became pregnant and he thought that the baby was his. sadness..could have used a raincoat or something right?! neway, it was evident that the people of the show really wanted to mess things up from the consistant pummelling of  bad events happenning to the cohens. the sadness. but anyway it's just a tv show
 
right now i have so many movies/anime that can last me a lifetime. and the last thing i would want t do is be distracted...

overloaded overjoyed

it's been 2 days since i last saw the office. somehow the feeling of returning to office later sickens me especially when i have to wait upon director to send him around. wtf.

nevertheless those 2 days away from the office managed to allow me to cool of from office/ns angst.

went to jb on wednesday morning with mohaideen and syl and bought loads of coasters. (if you don't know what those are just remain ignorant). was damn sad at the end of the day as time flew so irritatingly fast when i was over there. watched king arthur with amias and sylvia too later that night. haven't been watching MN movies for a damn long time too.

yesterday was spent clearing movies and animes as i felt that my 140gb computer was running out of disk space due to the continuous build up of anime. i must say eternal sunshine of the spotless mind messed with my mind abit though..but still it was l33t.

tired and lazy to type will continue another day

changi

just got back home after picking up a friend from the airport. somehow, there was this sense of yearning to jet away when i stepped foot into the terminal.
it was then that i decided. i have to get away after my sergeant conversion course.

what great timing it started raining just 5 minutes after i stepped back into my room
tired tired tired off to bed now

reboot.



just got back from a 2D1N chalet at loyang. though things did not turn out the way i saw them to be i still managed to stop and rethink about the issues which have been making me so cynical and morbid. (see previous post(s) ) anyway, it's back to the damned office for me tomorrow although i'll be going out soon after signing in for some stupid briefing which will affect my pay in future.

to tired to blog shall continue tomorrow

accidently in love



woke up this morning cos i had to return to the office to pick up my uniform
why? cos my damn mc covers me until today and i have bloody prt tomorrow
not that i'm lazy...it's just that i don't really enjoy the silence in the frc as my prt mates are't really chatty....
brushed my bleeding mouth took a shower
decked myself and gunned the engine

horned a few taxi drivers along the way not forgetting the indecisive lady-drivers and over cautious P-Plate kids. oh screwed a few mercs drivers who were road hogging too
reached office hung aruond got my shit and zipped back home

didn't really feel like going out after that so i returned the keys to dad and started watching anime and The O.C again..
beginning to feel sad cos i'm almost finishing the first season and anna has apparently left the screen for a few episodes. damn

she's so cute..but unreachable
i think i've fallen accidently in love with her

to prolong my happiness i decided not to watch The O.C for 2 hours and decided to cut my fur since there's this stupid D.C visit on monday. not that i'm afraid of him (it's just a goddam rank on his shoulders..he's still human) but i just don't want any trouble for the long hair (Think black/fat/fucked up superiors saying "your hair is very long u noe blah blah") it's just not worth it....but then again there's no worth in NS anyway.

Vindicated.
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along

So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away

anna

to be waking up feeling sad and with tears in my eyes
is almost weird.
"..this is everyone's misfortune" were her words

now who the hell was she?

WHAT THE FUCK !?

greece just beat the czech rep. to the finals
JUST
WHAT IN THE FUCKING HELL

they made me wake up
gave me false hopes
and brought the rain.

i will never look at a skoda car again.

sweet.

if words could express

how awfully sweet

The O.C

is


my mouth would


have


bled to death

i'm still bleeding!?

wtf. woke up this morning to find my pillow full of blood
WTF?!?!
is this normal? or could it be the nachos/kfc chicken/ice cream/twisties which i ate yesterday?
hmm.....

now i know why girls get so pissed once a month
i myself hate my mouth being full of blood what more about them
seesh.

High class or High Crass?

in the midst of my personal "retreat" i have started watching the american drama series titled "The O.C"

For people who don't know what O.C stand for its "Orange County"
The series is about a high-class society of people living in this residential estate called orange county (or something like that) since i see the same group of high-class people living their so called high-class life, wearing the same high-class togs and whatever things high-class you can think of.
Predictably, hidden behind them are adultery, lies, fraud and whatever things un-high-class so it's pretty interesting to see how and what goes on in their lives.
Show's not bad with the main lead actress as a big big piece of yummy eye candy with similar dissappointing characteristics in the real world (having an ugly boyfriend and messed up parents and the likes.she's alright btw) not forgetting the many un-occassional instances of faux pas when the high class people just embarrass the hell out of themselves when they act totally immature and stuff.

a drama ? or the bare facts?
i'd choose the bare facts. many "high class" people are not what they seem. i have an aunt who's like that and i never fail to embarrass her when she brags about her high but low class of living.

branded stuff are for people who have low self esteem and need the brand name to give them the added confidence. credit cards? either for light travellers who do not like stuffing wads of money notes or for "act tough" people who enjoy oweing credit card companies money. for those who disagree with me, BITE ME. you're all gonna die one day and wealth will definetly not be a measure of your existence's worth.

The O.C is a cool show btw. catch it if you can. for the morals and the eye candy

blood and enamel




had my lower left wisdom and top left tooth extracted today. weird experience i must say
here were the procedures:

was made to wear spastic shower cap, shoe caps and robes in order to make me look as if i was going to give birth

was later injected with this bittersweet cough-syrup like substance which make me curse and swear cos of the piercing pain (4x) believe me , even with a numbed mouth you still can swear.

anyways the dentist tried to kill me by opening my mouth super wide and using all his strength to extract my top left tooth but in the end, i din even feel the absence of my teeth even after he had already taken them out. last minutes of surgery :

me : nurse, can i spit?
nurse: nono you can swallow
me: but i want to spit...this taste in my mouth is weird
nurse : ok la... nah (spreads out serviettes for me to spit)

i spat.
cool bloody oozy blood

i hate the taste of iron.

but i love the colour of blood.

YUM YUM!

5 days of mc coming right up!

dizzy

it's one of those days when i suddenly go panaroid and start thinking of things so spastic beyound imagination. first it started with the weird dreams in the afternoon and now it's this whole issue about being what i am today
wtf.

i'm going to have my wisdom tooth surgery tomorrow. hopefully everything will go well and the minimal amout of pain experienced. but then again, even in pain we can sleep.

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh