......

woke up this morning with a sorethroat.
me : wat's for lunch ?
mum : fried rice.
me :fuck.
mum : fuck y?
me : i have a sorethroat
dad cuts in.
dad : got fever anot if got fever better see doctor!
me : i have SARS dun worry
silence.

S.A.R.S

apart from thw on-going war in the middle east
there is an even better thing to talk about today-SARS
everyday and everywhere i go i hear the word "SARS" being mentioned
everyone is so overly sensitive of contracting the disease that looking at them simply makes me laugh
the walking jokes of today are not your comedians, but rather the selfish and most ignorant people of singapore
this isn't the mass slamming of my fellow singaporeans, but rather one pointing at the above mentioned clowns
just today i was sitting a bus back from school when an elderly man started coughing
before i knew it (or rather, 2 stops later) the only people left in the same bus as me were myself, the elderly man and 4 other people
i mean WHAT THE FUCK man did they really have to do that? it's just a normal cough no? morons.
if everyone was so afraid of contracting SARS, why won't they just stay at home? or prolly commit suicide so that chances of getting sick and other dreaded diseases would be 0.
morons.
the least you could do is stop being stupid and eat well, sleep well and have the knowledge to not go to areas which would most likely help u contract it.

shock and awe

while most of us are sleeping in our beds at this moment
there is a fierce war raging on in teh middle east
who are we then to judge whether who is right or wrong
when we are not taking part in the war

hold me in your arms

hold me in your arms
never let me go
i want to spend eternity with you

to God be the glory

to God be the glory for everything that has happened to me

bring me back to life

why the hell am i feeling so spastic today
lethargic and mindless

how can you see into my eyes like open doors
leading you down into my core
where i've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home wake me up inside
wake me up inside
call my name and save me from the dark
bid my blood to run
before i come undone
save me from the nothing i've become

now that i know what i'm without
you can't just leave me
breathe into me and make me real
bring me to life

wake me up inside
wake me up inside
call my name and save me from the dark
bid my blood to run
before i come undone
save me from the nothing i've become
bring me to life

frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead

all this time i can't believe i couldn't see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
i've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything
without a thought without a voice without a soul
don't let me die here
there must be something more
bring me to life

-evanescence

I AM WISDOM whahahahahaa

i was so bored that i bothered to take this quiz :



Wisdom

oh well, better stop dreaming and get started on my fyp soon

rain

it seems to be raining everyday nowadays.
true i like rainy days cos of the coziness it brings
but it's screwing my life up because i tend to sleep more
not forgetting my ever recurring cough

the genelogy of morals

i just finished watching a film called "samsara"
in my opinion it is sort of an allegory to buddha (yes siddharta gautama's life)
well i'm not into buddhist shit but the show has left me thinking though
basically the story speaks of a young man who was involved in the monastry since the tender age of 5
apparently after serving 3 years, 3 months, 3 weeks and 3 days worth of meditation
he gained nirvana and got a degree for it (whatever)
however, the story begains to get interesting when he sees a woman breastfeeding her child by accident
and thus began the moral degradation of him.

he began to question his faith , on why he had to be a monk since 5 years old when buddha himself gave up
his worldly ways at the age of 29.
to cut the story short, he left the monastry to become a world man
married the girl he liked, had a family, farmed etc until one day, his fellow ex-monk-mate
paid him a visit with a message from his dead mentor
the message said "would you rather satisfy a thousand desires or conquer just one?" (or something like that)
which left him thinking.
after much though, he decided to leave his family and go back to become a monk.
now i know its his choice but i think it's super selfish of him lor since he already had a family and stuff like that
anyway, so off he went to shave his head and change into his buddhist garb and was walking towards the monastry
when he saw his wife at the gate
with the look of disappointment and tearing eyes she mentioned "yashodhara"
yashodhara was the wife of siddharta gautama(or buddha as he is famously known)
she begain reiterating the story of how siddharta gautama had left his family (yashodhara, his wife and rahul his son)
to give up his worldy ideals and gain enlightenment (sounds familiar?)
and ultimately buddha
he had left his family silently one night. without saying a word
she continued to say that yashodhara had been showing compassion to the ailing
and sick long before siddharta did and questioned him on who can say that siddharta owed
his enlightenment to her
whoa this part was the killer man (see it to believe it)
anyways, the story ended with the confused chap seeing the answer to the question
"how can you prevent a drop of water from drying up?" which was "by throwing it into the sea"
i don't know about him but i perceived it as blending in to your circumstances
and since that his circumstance was that he already had a family, then bloody hell return to it and stop being a monk

this has perhaps been the longest entry since i started blogging. i'm just blogging for the record since the movie has left some sort of impression on me. the question of moral obligation vs current circumstance. if anyone reads this (though i don't think anyone would) and feels offended then i'm not sorry. cos this is my damn private space. i repeat. samsara rocks.

the day's business

the year's birthday celebration was a quiet one
spent in the dingy restaurant of swensen's orchard point with a handful of good friends
not that i had few good friends, but because most of them were either in ns jail
or couldn't make it because i didn't really plan on celebrating it big this year
a great time of idyllic chatter saw us through the entire meal before we decided to end it simply
by going home. sounds pretty lame or boring but at least it's something different from the previous years for the record.
somehow i've reached the state of nothingness. where nothing really matters much when it comes to outcomes.
call it bad call it good but i just call it emo

the day is slowly seeping through the sieve of time
what started with an unnatural wake up call by my parents to get ready for chuch
attending my church's 24th anniversary (and getting really woken up by being placd right in front of the stage)
a simple lunch at alexandra village
and the above mentioned dinner is coming to an end
in a few hours this great/good/ok/bad/shitty day (please do not delete as necessary as the day consists of many parts of the adjectives) is coming to an end
tomorrow would be my neighbour's birthday and probably a few others whom i've probably lost contact but still remember
and what is left of today would only be a fragment of time

this is me. aged 20 years born in this earth
raised up to face the world
ever learning from mistakes and the evils of this world
ever striving to distinguish friends from actors
ever searching for the one true love
ever pursuing the knowledge of this earth
for better , for worse, forever after more.

hooray. it's my birthday

many people fear growing older for me it's just the passing of time however as i grow older every year i feel that everything is reaching a standstill everything isn't as fresh as it was anymore everything is just so mundane the christmas of last year just came and went the new year wasn't as bad but the recent chinese new year was just so stale so unnatural so much so that it has also affected my mood to celebrate my birthday if i ever was going to anyway everything has seemed to have lost its meaning for me its just as if my world has just crashed everything which was once fresh is now so stale and cliche is this it is this how i am going to spend the rest of my life with so little possibilies of living it like i used to maybe its time i started to reflect on my past and present life configuration

of mice and men

i just spent the entire night trying to get my hamster which had escaped (i don't know how the fuck it managed to escape)
and crawled under the cupboard
those who had seen my cupboard would know that it was freaking heavy.
and yes, i had to empty the cupboard to tilt it abit and take the little bastard out.
total time taken for rescue mission? 3 hours
pics of the ordeal can be found in my online photo album

consider your needs

many of us claim we need a certain something when it actually should be considered a want
a need is considered the cause of the origin.
in truth it is often merely an effect of what originated

lunatic pandemonium

as i grow older, the lunar new year starts to become more of a dread than a festivity.
what were days of running about and playing pranks at my relatives's houses are no more
today was a real damper.
ever since the demise of my grandmother the family has invisibly broken up into smaller self-contained clusters
the mood of family seemed disturbingly off today, so much so that i just felt like asking everyone what the hells was going on
i hate the future. christmases, new years and birthdays were so much more enjoyable in the past

the motor shark

friend : hey johnny so is the shark in the wisma atria fishtank really a motorised shark?
me : what do you think....
friend : hmm..i say cannot be lar! who so stupid put a motor shark in the fish tank for what?
me : well..you've got your answer.
friend : *ponders for a while* hehe i think i wanna buy a shark too
me : there's this shop at serangoon which sells sharks
friend : how much?
me : $600 bucks i think
friend : fuck you lar! where got mechanical parts cost so expensive one?!
me : .......

against all odds

right now i am experiencing a psycological warfare
i am about to take my stupid napfa test in 2.5 hrs time
the results look bleak but the desire to pass it within today is my driving force right now
however, for every inspiration there is a damper
what if what if what if seems to ring continuously
droning into my head relentlessly

game over

last night was my last night at 7-11
the store was irritatingly busy when i was just about to leave
some farewell bidding huh

i reached home only to notice that the dead fish in the tank had floated up
and that my maid had helped me throw it away while i was in a hurry to go to work the previous night
and so here am i
free from work
but not from this mental prison

i have wasted yet another day

stoned

i can't believe i just wasted my day again
maybe i should stop working since it messes up my life so much so that i would not be able to complete my fyp in peace. i'm just wondering now what possessed me to work at 7-11 in the first place.

bad command or file name

recently things have been working out pretty fine for me
but being the ardent pessismist, how long would this last?

i'm starting on my fyp next week though
but right now i'm having the same retarded feeling which i have at all beginnings of a year
uncertainty
that which is hard to grasp and fathom
which disappoints when one expects

yes this is late

it is the year 2003. 5th january to be exact
if you're wondering why this is so late. blame it on blogger
blame it on 2002
i wrote 2 long entries on 31st dec 2002,
only to have some database error spat back at me.

anyway, i guess 2003 should look brighter
i saved $21 on what would be spent on celebration at the beginning of the year already
and with all the little things added up, things SHOULD be looking better
of course there's monday, when school starts. let's just hope it doesn't screw me up huh

looking back, i really wasted my holidays. working, sleeping, playing
omit the playing part. it's an obligation for me to play cos i am going to serve stupid ns soon

no new year's resolutions for me this year.
because they'll just be lies.

bought a ps2 game called total immersion racing
not bad.

ran out of nonsense to sprout.
farewell