against all odds

right now i am experiencing a psycological warfare
i am about to take my stupid napfa test in 2.5 hrs time
the results look bleak but the desire to pass it within today is my driving force right now
however, for every inspiration there is a damper
what if what if what if seems to ring continuously
droning into my head relentlessly

game over

last night was my last night at 7-11
the store was irritatingly busy when i was just about to leave
some farewell bidding huh

i reached home only to notice that the dead fish in the tank had floated up
and that my maid had helped me throw it away while i was in a hurry to go to work the previous night
and so here am i
free from work
but not from this mental prison

i have wasted yet another day

stoned

i can't believe i just wasted my day again
maybe i should stop working since it messes up my life so much so that i would not be able to complete my fyp in peace. i'm just wondering now what possessed me to work at 7-11 in the first place.

bad command or file name

recently things have been working out pretty fine for me
but being the ardent pessismist, how long would this last?

i'm starting on my fyp next week though
but right now i'm having the same retarded feeling which i have at all beginnings of a year
uncertainty
that which is hard to grasp and fathom
which disappoints when one expects

yes this is late

it is the year 2003. 5th january to be exact
if you're wondering why this is so late. blame it on blogger
blame it on 2002
i wrote 2 long entries on 31st dec 2002,
only to have some database error spat back at me.

anyway, i guess 2003 should look brighter
i saved $21 on what would be spent on celebration at the beginning of the year already
and with all the little things added up, things SHOULD be looking better
of course there's monday, when school starts. let's just hope it doesn't screw me up huh

looking back, i really wasted my holidays. working, sleeping, playing
omit the playing part. it's an obligation for me to play cos i am going to serve stupid ns soon

no new year's resolutions for me this year.
because they'll just be lies.

bought a ps2 game called total immersion racing
not bad.

ran out of nonsense to sprout.
farewell

anticlimax

i just opened my eyes to another sunday 10 minutes ago.
it's something to note as it's so hard for em to get up just to go to churhc on sundays
lying on my bed i thought of the stuff to do, things to buy before the new year starts
but i just remembered i'm left with $3.25 in the back and my paycheck hasn't arrived yet.
so much for having resolutions.
having nothing more to do now, i shall attempt to go back to sleep.

day after boxing day
shit. i just woke up.





You're ice! You can be very cold and distant and you are NOT a people person. You're pretty mean but you can be nice...to a select few.




What element are you

boxing day

on christmas day, this was what i did :
11am-12pm woke up, washed up and got ready for christmas lunch
12pm-9pm was at uncle's place for christmas lunch/dinner
9pm-10pm back home sleeping
11pm-7am worked
7am-11am biked the world
11pm-12pm was drained.
12pm-7.30pm - slept like a dog

and so this was christmas. a whole year of waiting. a whole year of disappointment
the warmth which christmas usually brings never really did touch me this year
perhaps it was me, perhaps it's the people i hung out with this year
no matter what, christmas is still over.
i guess the only thing to look forward to is NYE

christmas

8.pm - left house for church service
8.45pm - arrived at far east square for church service
9pm - service commences
10.30pm - service ends
10.45pm - left far east square for home
11.45 - left home again cos i was bored
12.56am - Holland Village with some friends
1.30am - Missed last train back home
2am - Arrived at pasir panjang for supper with daren
2.30am - Met another friend who came to my house to take photos of his rabbit
4.30am - Round 2 of supper downstairs
5.35am - Blogging again

that was how christmas was spent by me in 2002
right now i'm still contemplating whether of not to quit my job for good when school re opens

5.40am - deep sleep

the eve before christmas

cold and crisp afternoon
the way it should be
while throngs of people are out prowling the streets
on this day
while the many couples are out clasping hands and strolling
along on this day
i'm stuck at home.

i had just woken up after a 7hr sleep
somehow, i'm still jaded.
sunrise shift at 7-11 was alright
except that it was so damn boring i wished i had something to do

perhaps i should spend the entire day contemplating this
and wrapping presents

on the other hand, it's so sad that i'm spending the day at home
imagine waiting 357 days for christmas only to spend it at home.

back in prison

in case you're wondering why my previous entry did not have a title it was because i had only 5 minutes to blog at the internet kiosk in hong kong. yes internet kiosk. that is one of the things singapore needs to have. another is the train route information which tells u which part are u particularly at at any point of time just by looking on the electronic route information panel.

it sucks to be back (people would usually say it's great to be back but not for me)
my trip to hk has opened up eyes. and it's not visually.
though the living conditions there may be worse than singapore's, the people there really take pride in their work. no matter the working conditions or pay. it may be even a simple trash collector job and yet they'll still go all out. unlike the expensive cats of singapore. the streets are lined with colourful shadows and brightly gassed lights, adding to the vibrance of the city. wonder which idiot banned neon ads in singapore.
i've actually got more to say but i wouldn't want this blog entry to be a long china tale of a country bumpkin (yes there are alot of china fucks in hk too)

now that i'm back in prison, i'm contemplating on whether i should continue working or not
there's so much stuff i had planned to do earlier and have yet to accomplish it cos of the job as it has really messed p my bioclock.
save me from this zoo

this is my 3rd time blogging and i really hate to redo it
the shopping centre\s internet cafe sucks
other than that hk is cool to hate

long way from home

here i am sitting in fron of the com
just waiting for time to go by
i'll be off to Hong Kong in a few hours time later in the day
good bye to my home
good bye to my life

the irony of life

engulfed in blood you came to earth
an object of your parents love
with the blessings of the higher power above
you laughed you cried and lived your life

years go by and you got bored
rushed through your single childhood
to grow up

years go by and looking back
you long to be a child again

you lose your health making money
and in turn lose money restoring your health
in later years

you think anxiously about the future
forgetting the present
such that you live neither in the present or future

like a blooming flower
you live as if will never die
and die as if they never lived

such are the ironies of your fragile life
such are the ironies of your own destiny

the girl who stole the stars

My dear Kid
How are you doing?
I wonder how old you are
as you read this letter
Perhaps you've matured into
a beautiful woman, raising a
happy family, by now
I was hoping to talk to you in
person when you were old enough,
but just in case something happens,
I'm writing my feelings down on paper and leaving it to Luccia.
Perhaps you already know...
or perhaps you yourself are
also caught up in some
historic crisis as a result
of all this.
but anyway...
My friands and I did something which changed your future
in order to save the world
but sometimes I think of the darker side of what we did
what has become of the future that was "once" suppossed to have existed?
where did the "time" that now is no longer allowed to exist "go"?
though it is true that thanks to our altering of the flow of history
we were able to save so many lives
and prevent so much sadness and suffering..
but we have also caused the deaths of so many that were meant to have come
into existence in the timeline we destroyed as well as the sadness which
you are encompassing now
Kid. when i think of you
i remember someone i once
met a long long time ago
in the distant past
someday i'll tell you about her
when you are ready to know of your real name and heritage
i'm not the slightest bit worried about you
for i know out there "he" will always be there for you
of perhaps he has already found you
and is there by your side as you read this?
well anyway kid.
until we meet again
farewell

F.U.C.K

my fucking IBM hardisk just crashed today
well not really...
well at least my other valued possesions are still intact
well anyways the os sector is gone
well it's going to get smashed by me later...once i transfer all my important stuff to other storage media
well... FUCK IBM
cos i'll never get another IBM hardisk again

a hl la

this morning dew the morning's crisp
smelled no different from a crypt
countless lost souls walk the streets
leading straight ones to doom

a homeless man sleeps on the bench
not knowing really he's half in his trench
a drunkard spews the merlion's glory
who'll deck the halls with boughs of holly?

the day is breaking, it has broken
the gates of hell reopen
don't worry if you haven't the slightest clue what this is
for it is about what it is.

crossroads

it's been awhile since i had a time like this
everyday used to be a living dream
not until recently when my other life took a turn
of which the biggest bend would be reached later today

undisputed obligation

I FUCKING NEED TO COMPLETE CHRONO CROSS BY THIS WEEK!!!!!!
if not i'll go crazy

fark

what do you do when you are chasing after a bus and when u finally reach the bus
the door closes. and the driver speeds off

that's the feeling that i'm having after 2 days of work.