it's a freaking hot day
and i am bored

grand retour was a success
i finally got expelled from bbdc
and i finally got that f**king piece of ic sized paper

here i stand alone
with this weight upon my heart
and it's screwing my stomach up
the day i've been waiting for is here
probably one of the biggest days of a teenager
55 days ago i failed my tp
and 55 days later i am attempting it for teh second time
i really hope that i would pass
if not it would really suck
not cos of the failure
not cos of the money
but more for the waiting period

there will only be 2 types of me
the me in benovelance
the me in malovelance
all to be decided in 11 hours to come
....
Grand Retour....is commencing.

i hate pcom
my presentation is tomorrow and there are a thousand caterpillars making cocoons in my stomach already
by daybreak they'll eat me up from inside
there's still wdd to worry about
and Grand Retour on friday to worry about too
help.

it is a good day to die.

the yoghurt i'm eating tastes funny
has it gone bad?
i'll know the answer in 1/2 hrs time

life stinks at the moment
tests,test,s presentations, tests,tests, exams,exams,exams,exams
seem to be revolving around me nowadays
when will i be able to breathe again
out of the blue a ghostly maiden seems to haunt me again
raking up my past turning my heart to dust

why am i feeling like this
did it have to happen to me again
and when i thought i was gettting on fine
i stumble and lose direction

There's always something
In the way
There's always something
Getting through
But it's not me
it's You

Sometime's ignorance
Rings true
But hope is not in
What I know
Not in me
It's in You

It's all I know

And I find peace
When I'm confused
I find hope when
I'm let down
Not in me
But in You

I hope to lose myself
For good
I hope to find it in the end
Not in me
It's You
It's all I know

it's 4.07 am and i am still awake.
school starts at 2pm tomorrow--stupid ECAD demo...best part is no one wants to bring the laptop
i can't cos i lent mine to a friend for his test but no one understands...and never will
anyway i feel weird typing this shit out to myself.
maybe it'll appear funny in the future when i look back in hindsight
i hope LOTR bags the best movie award for the oscars later

i got my freaking phone tdy!
samsung N200
it's cool to hate although i have to admit that no other phone can be compared to a nokia in the area of user-friendliness
who cares...what others have. the more i do not wish to have
conformism is but a joke
and the mainstream a farce.
i'm fine with samsung
let's see how long it survives though

Another question in me
One for the powers that be
It's got me thrown
And so I put on my poker face
And try to figure it out
This undeniable doubt
A common occurrence
Feeling so out of place
Guarded and cynical now
Can't help but wondering how
My heart evolved into
A rock beating inside of me
So now I feel
Such a stoic ordeal
Where's that feeling I don't feel

There was a boy who had the faith to move a mountain
And like a child he would believe without a reason
Without a trace he disappeared into the void and
I've been searchin' for that missing person

Under a lavender moon
So many thoughts consume me
Who dimmed that glowing light
That once burned so bright in me
Is this a radical phase
A problematic age
That keeps me running
From all that I used to be
Is there a way to return
Is there a way to unlearn
That carnal knowledge
That's chipping away at my soul
I've been gone too long
Will I ever find my way home

another hard day has passed
hours of tedious programming gone by
i've so far managed to so INSERT with the minimal validation requirements
tomorrow's going to be another tough day
i wonder why i'm not sleeping or programming when i should be
my uncle got retrenched today
it's somewhat screwed up to think that he was such a nice guy
this incident has led me to to wonder if it pays to be nice
i've heard of the term "nice guys finish last" and it's ever so true
the world is a screwed up place waiting to devour nice peeps
i wonder if i should be a nice guy or a jackass.

it's a fcuked up day today
1.woke up to find my nokia 8210 lcd screen BLANK again. it's the 2nd time
2. went to class and discovered i had drawn the bce diagrams wrongly
3. screwed my wdd assignment up
4. punctured my gary fisher tyre for the 6th time in 5 months
5. inner tubing of gary fisher tyre is still stuck in between the gears
6. my trek bike light broke
i dunno if it's me or the forces against me but it has definetly been a fcuked up day for me

6 days is all i have
to make wdd my only breath
sleep is but ever tempting
drawing me back to days of camping
when will i ever taste Completion
removing deception
gaining action
eventual satisfaction is what i seek
but it's the vices of human ability
which make me ever so meek

WDD IS A PAIN IN THE BUTTTTTT
damn
i spent 5 hrs tdy 2-7 trying to freaking LINK my main member page to the register member page
ARGLKHO:Gishdao;-hhg;bwherob'qnfL'JNGB'O[GWEF GCBsfdGsbfdsbdfsnakvhkadsbvaflkbkl wjdd dsuco;sdbfo;bvakbvdsjaasdwdd sucks suck sucks sucks vsdabvo;hdo;afbho;iahvo;ia kbsvkjbakvfbfbfvkabfoabo;a;foaoihfoshigfdhoi;IPVASel;kbeho;hgbqo;i

ISDT was a bitch to me today.oh it's justin's hatchday too.
the monkey was wearing his mao zedong t-shirts as usual..not knowing that the Joke had already kicked the bucket aeons ago
anyway i intend to settle down already..no more fooling arnd cos i just realised how far behind i have been in schwrk..
wish me luck

screwed up morning
just received news from daren that he failed his tp
why
fucked up tester
he had the same tester as me and refused to pass him
i'm having my 3rd hep b jab today
hopefully i don't die cos i am going for it even with flu..
cool to hate man

4.11am and i just printed out my 4th set of BCE diagram out on paper. EPSON printers SUCK bigtime. at first i thought i was screwed but later i realised that the printer in my room is just a piece of shit. the work was shitty man you should take a look at it one day-----> you would think the work was printed by a dot matrix printer.
then i used my mums printer(sadly, it's an epson but it's the epson 810) and it managed to print what i wanted..
i am going to smash my printer soon.
hp rocks

just woke up and fixed the damn timezone thingy...i ate raw food for dinner tdy cos of the maid's superb culinary skills..
ifeellikecrap